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Friday, September 19, 2014
The Dalek Twinkie Challenge
Spider-Dalek: Okay, I'm here. Why have I been summoned?
Artist: You're here to declare that the best Twinkies have blue filling.
Rusty: How dare you put words in his mouth! The best Twinkies are clearly red inside.
Spider-Dalek: So this is what all the fuss is about?
Denim: It's an important determination. After all, part of my job is to assist Pocket in putting together meals and desserts for Master and Mistress. While I'm completely unbiased, it seems to me that the superior Twinkie must have blue filling.
Captain Scarlet: As I'm the only commissioned officer currently serving in the Dalek military, I order you all to accept that the best Twinkies are red inside! Red! Red! Red!
Rex: Blue! Blue! Blue!
Spider-Dalek: Oh, very well. As I have a stake in both arguments, I suppose I should serve as a mediator in this dispute. Pinky, as you're our gentlest, classiest Dalek, perhaps you could state your side's position.
Pinky: Thanks for the complement, dear. Our position is simple. Our Twinkies have a mild and gentle flavor that remind one of the original Twinkie, yet have a flavor all their own. And let's face it: many people don't like the more tart varieties of berries, but everyone likes strawberries.
Red: Yeah, right! And I must add, after a long, hard afternoon assembling Lego kits, strawberries make the perfect afternoon treat.
Spider-Dalek: Well stated, Pinky. And yes, Red, thank you for that too. Blueberry, as you're named after an actual berry, perhaps you should summarize your colleagues' position.
Blueberry: Ah, ahem, thank you for asking my opinion. I must say that you've always struck me as a very astute Dalek. While I would agree with our dear Pinky that the Blue Raspberry filling has a stronger flavor, I must point out that even strawberries can be tart if they're picked too soon. This blue flavor is in no way tart or disagreeable. If anything, it's more of a good thing in each bite.
Blue: Yeah, rock on, Blueberry!
Spider-Dalek: Yes, well…as I found both positions persuasive, I suppose I must now take on the solemn duties of a judge, and examine each side's evidence.
Spider-Dalek: The blue and pink fillings both look and smell wonderful. I think I'll have to sample both, so I can rule on the flavor of each. Hmm. It could take some time for me to reach a determination. It's possible I may even need to taste both halves of each Twinkie.
Blueberry: Uh, excuse me, did you say both halves of each Twinkie?
Pinky: Don't you think that's going a bit far, dear?
Spider-Dalek: Well, you do want me to make an informed decision, and such such important matters should never be rushed, or investigated by half-measures.
Pocket: Hmm, aside from a few cake crumbs, there's no sign of whatever stirred up such a ruckus earlier. Whatever it was, it couldn't have been that important, certainly not in comparison with what Master & Mistress just brought home. I'm looking forward to tasting these new chocolate-covered Twinkies. I'll bet they're the best Twinkies ever!
Spider-Dalek, Pocket, and the red and blue Twinkie-loving Daleks
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