This weekend, “A Good Day to Die Hard,” the fifth
installment in the Die Hard franchise, rolls into theaters. This time, New York Police Detective John
McClane travels to Russia, where he unites with his grown-up son. Gunfire and explosions follow. My wife and I plan on seeing this one in the
cinema (without D-Box, thank you very much). Unfortunately, the producers don’t make a new
Die Hard movie every year. Consequently,
they have to choose their stories carefully.
I wondered what other types of stories we might have seen, had the
producers widened the scope of the Die Hard franchise. So I wrote to them, and they were kind enough to share a few of their rejected story ideas with me. Here's one of them that seems timely, given yesterday's focus on Sherlock Holmes.
“Smoke Free and Tie-Die”
Smoke bombs explode in the White House, filling the rooms and corridors with a purple haze. The secret service men walk about in a daze, knowing they should be concerned, but somehow, they just don't care. The staff chat among themselves, and soon lose themselves in mirth. Somehow, whatever their colleages say seems intensely funny. The president orders up a banquet, even though he's just eaten an hour ago. John McClane, leaving the restroom after a White House tour, recognizes the aroma and runs down to Maintenance, where he covers his nose and mouth with a dust mask. When he emerges, he notices long haired people everywhere, wearing tie-dyed shirts and saying things like "Yeah, man," or "No way, dude!"
Over the public address system, he hears an announcement. In one hour, the President will sign an executive order legalizing marijuana use in all fifty states. Realizing that the hippies have taken control, he searches the White House, trying to find the President before he commits an act he may regret. But while the hippies are pleasant, they keep giving him erroneous directions, sending him off to empty rooms. And he finds himself giggling for no reason at all. Soon he finds himself in the Kitchens, where he decides he's intensely hungry. The chefs offer to make him anything he wants, but John McClane refuses, insisting that he only wants snack food.
Actually, the producers liked this idea, but after President Bush's infamous pretzel incident, they decided that, perhaps, it wouldn't be in good taste.
Dragon Dave
Over the public address system, he hears an announcement. In one hour, the President will sign an executive order legalizing marijuana use in all fifty states. Realizing that the hippies have taken control, he searches the White House, trying to find the President before he commits an act he may regret. But while the hippies are pleasant, they keep giving him erroneous directions, sending him off to empty rooms. And he finds himself giggling for no reason at all. Soon he finds himself in the Kitchens, where he decides he's intensely hungry. The chefs offer to make him anything he wants, but John McClane refuses, insisting that he only wants snack food.
Actually, the producers liked this idea, but after President Bush's infamous pretzel incident, they decided that, perhaps, it wouldn't be in good taste.
Dragon Dave
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