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Saturday, December 22, 2012

K. Kringle’s Christmas & Holiday Shoppe

Many still think Santa Claus (alias Kris Kringle) lives at the North Pole, but this just goes to show how wrong some people can be.  Santa’s been at it for a long time, and although he’s not officially retired, his elves handle most of his day-to-day operations.  So where does Santa live now, you ask?  If you’ll think for a moment, it’s obvious.  Where do senior citizens go when winter arrives, when they’re looking to take life a little easier?  They move to Florida, of course.

While Santa possess a certain amount of magic, in many ways, he’s no different from you or me.  For example, despite all his philanthropy, he still needs money to purchase wood, electronics, and other materials to make all those toys.  (Home Depot offers him a sizeable discount on their monthly shipments, but he tries to buy from other businesses as well).  There’re also his labor costs, which have risen annually ever since the elves formed their own union a few years ago.  And then there are all his distribution centers, located in every country, province or state, to help reduce his flight time on Christmas Eve.  So, in order to subsidize his worldwide operations, Santa has opened a few retail outlets.  One of them is located in St. Pete Beach, and it’s called K. Kringle’s Christmas & Holiday Shoppe.

You’ll know right away that you’ve found the right place, as Rudolph, Prancer, and Blitzen hang out by their stable doors to greet visitors.  Toy soldiers guard the entrance, but as long as you’re respectful, they’ll let you enter.  Inside, you’ll find toys, ornaments, and decorations from every nation, tradition, and Christmas story imaginable.  They’ve even got a few nonChristmas items, such as their table of “The Wizard of Oz” collectibles.  If you’re looking for a particular item, and you can’t find it on the shelves, don’t worry.  Even if, unlike Santa, it’s officially retired, the helpful staff will draw upon their network of global partners to secure one for you.  Especially if you’ve brought along a thick wad of cash, or a major credit card.

"Watch out for that tornado, Dorothy!"

So if you’re interested in seeing some famous reindeer, finding that perfect toy, ornament, or gift, or just want to help Santa bring happiness to every child on Earth, then visit his retail outlet the next time you’re in Florida, and spend, spend, spend.  Let’s face it: above and beyond his operating costs, Santa’s got to pay for that vacation home somehow. 

And then there’s his 401K, which due to the recent economic downturn, could use a little bolstering.

Dragon Dave

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