Friday, March 28, 2014
How To Cook A Cyberman's Head
Pocket: Oh! Beware the Mutant Squash!
Denim: Danger Alert! Danger Alert! Danger Alert!
Pocket: Stand down, Private. I was just having a little fun.
Denim: So, if it's not dangerous, what is it?
Pocket: Let's see how it looks inside, and I'll tell you.
Pocket: Remember all those squash and pumpkin plants that Mistress grew last year?
Denim: Affirmative. She called them volunteers, because she didn't plant any seeds.
Pocket: Right. Remember the plant that had pumpkin-like leaves, but the only fruit that matured looked like a mutated Kobacha squash? This is that lone fruit. The interior resembles squash, but the seeds remind me of pumpkin seeds.
Denim: It reminds me of autopsy photos of a Cyberman's head.
Pocket: That's unkind, Private. Besides, it's natural that a humanoid head would decompose under long-term Cyber-programming.
Denim: Instead of slicing up those halves, we should have fitted them with outboard motors. We could have ruled Earth's waterways!
Pocket: Now you come up with a great idea like that? To quote the human spy Maxwell Smart, once again we missed out on the Dalek Domination of Earth…by "that much."
Denim: So, is ten minutes sufficient to cook a Cyberman's head?
Pocket: I'm warning you, Private. No more derogatory name-calling.
Denim: Well, it's done. Now we'll see if Master and Mistress like the taste of mutant squash.
Pocket: First we must ascertain its flavor, and make certain it's safe to serve them. I want you to--
Denim: Uh, no thanks, sir. I really feel you should have that honor.
Pocket: Private, I order you to sample it. It's your duty to Master and Mistress.
Denim: With respect, sir, there's no way I'm going to taste a cooked Cyberman's head.
Pocket: Derogatory name-calling and insubordination? That's it, Private. I'm putting you on bathroom duty!
Denim: Oh! Beware the Mutant Squash…
Pocket & Denim Dalek