Cookie Warning

Warning: This blog may contain cookies. Just as cookies fresh out of the oven may burn your mouth, electronic cookies can harm your computer. Visit all kitchens and blogs (yes, including this one) with care.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Daleks Investigate Custard And Twinkies

Humans may be inferior beings, but they like to experiment, just like us Daleks. Consider the Mistress. As Master likes his egg white omelets for breakfast, she saved up the yolks and put seven in a pot. To these she added four cups of low fat milk and 1.25 cups of sugar, then simmered it over a double boiler. Her efforts aroused my curiosity (another trait humans share with Daleks), so I decided to observe her efforts.

Humans may have a few notable strengths, but one thing they lack is endurance. Over the next hour, Mistress and Master continually traded off, one taking over the stirring duties when the other needed a break. I could have assisted them, but I must maintain my power reserves, in case they need me to Exterminate someone.

Exterminate! Exterminate! Daleks love Exterminating!

After an hour of constant stirring, the mixture had thickened, and the humans left it to cool while they ate their dinner. Half-an-hour later they returned, and extracted two Hostess Twinkies from the pantry.

The Halloween Cupcakes, with the scary orange filling!

They poured 1/3 cup of the mixture into the bowls, and declared the Twinkies sufficiently custardized. 

Then they squirted whipped cream on top!

Intent on completing my investigation, I snuck into the dining room, and heard their oohing and aaahing, and how glad they were that they had discovered boiled custard and sponge cake on their trips to England. To my calculations, 1/3 cup of boiled custard equals 185 calories, far more than 1/3 cup of ice cream, their usual evening favorite. Given their adherence to their diet, why should Master & Mistress labor so hard and so long, to consume a higher-calorie dessert? 

A complete understanding of my humans is essential if I am to dominate them. I must investigate this matter further. I shall be tireless and brave. I will not stop until I have discovered why my humans like this new dessert so much. But then, that's why they call me...

The Dalek with the Golden Gun

No comments:

Post a Comment