Thursday, August 25, 2016
Knitted Star Trek Beyond
Dr. McCoy: Why so introspective, Spock?
Mr. Spock: I'm considering leaving Starfleet to devote myself to my fellow Vulcans.
Dr. McCoy: But your Human girlfriend is so hot! Being with Uhura is worth facing any danger.
Mr. Spock: Perhaps you are right, Doctor. I shall reconsider my future plans in light of your opinion.
Ensign Chekov: This sure is a dangerous mission. Look at all the red shirts piling up!
Yeoman Rand: You're right! I don't even know why I'm here! I'm not even officially a part of this new crew! I must be crazy to have come along as an uncredited crew person!
Mr. Scott: Well, you've done it again, sir. That's the second time you've destroyed my beautiful starship in the third installment of a series of movies.
Captain Kirk: I can't help it, Scotty. First it was Nero. Then Khan. Now they face me off against a former starship captain with a grudge against Starfleet. When our filmed Star Trek adventures are limited to battling psychopathic mass-murderers, the destruction of the Enterprise becomes inevitable.
Mr. Scott: Well, I'm canna take it no more, sir. I'm considering handing in my commission, along with Spock.
Captain Kirk: Don't worry, Scotty. The transporter keeps records of everything's original specifications. We can merely create a new ship by accessing Starfleet's records.
Mr. Scott: I never thought of it that way, Captain. What an ingenious idea!
Captain Kirk: Beam me up a new ship, Mr. Miracle Worker!
Mr. Scott: Aye aye, Captain. I'll get started on it right away.
Uhura: I'm glad you've decided to remain with me in Star Fleet. Now we can look forward to making a child who's only one-quarter Vulcan.
Mr. Spock: Our love may not be logical, but I look forward to a long and prosperous life with you.