Cookie Warning

Warning: This blog may contain cookies. Just as cookies fresh out of the oven may burn your mouth, electronic cookies can harm your computer. Visit all kitchens and blogs (yes, including this one) with care.

Friday, January 3, 2014

When Daleks Attack Daleks

Rex: Finally, it's time to open the Festive Bakewells from England!
K-9: No, it's past time.
Rex: For the last time: as they're decorated for Christmas consumption, the Best By date for early December made no sense.  Now be a good knitted robot dog, or you won't get any crumbs.

Gray: What ho?  I thought I heard the crinkling of English cellophane.
Rex: What are you doing in here?  Get back on the Christmas tree!
Gray: My dear Dalek, I discovered the joys of Cherry and Trifle Bakewells during last year's trip to Yorkshire.  A superior dessert in every respect, I must say.  Please grant me the pleasure of helping you extract two tarts from this fine English packaging.

Gray: I say, old knitted things: I don't know if you've noticed it or not, but these tarts are past the Best By date.
K-9: See!
Rex: Here we go again.

Gray: Mmm, delightful!  The outer crust is particularly fine.  Ah, decided to taste the interior, what?  A splendid idea, old beans.
Rex: We're not stuffed with old beans.  We're stuffed with [CONTENT CENSORED BY ORDERS OF THE MISTRESS].
Gray: I assure you, I've no desire to offend.  It's just an expression I picked up last year while exploring the North of England.
Rex: You know, I'm tired of hearing about how much greater your adventures were than ours.  And I'm tired of your so-called English dialect.  People in England don't talk like that these days!
Gray: Steady on, old knitted thing!  I'm sure I've never compared my expeditions, grand as they were, with your--
Rex: Enough!  K-9 and I were assigned kitchen duty for today, not you! Get out!
Gray: Good heavens!  How common!
Rex: That's it!  Vacate this room immediately, or I'll exterminate you. 
Gray: You haven't heard the last of this!  I'll have my solicitor dash off a letter to the Dalek minister in Whitehall about your attack on my soundness.  He knows how many beans make five!
Rex: That's it!  I gave you fair warning!  Exterminate!  Exterminate!! Exterminate!!!

K-9: Finally, a moment alone with my tarts.  Mmm, delightful!

K-9, Rex, & Dalek the Gray

1 comment:

  1. Wait a minute!!!! I was to be on kitchen duty, not Rex. Rex is this why you traded with me? I want my tart.