Friday, January 3, 2014

When Daleks Attack Daleks


Rex: Finally, it's time to open the Festive Bakewells from England!
K-9: No, it's past time.
Rex: For the last time: as they're decorated for Christmas consumption, the Best By date for early December made no sense.  Now be a good knitted robot dog, or you won't get any crumbs.



Gray: What ho?  I thought I heard the crinkling of English cellophane.
Rex: What are you doing in here?  Get back on the Christmas tree!
Gray: My dear Dalek, I discovered the joys of Cherry and Trifle Bakewells during last year's trip to Yorkshire.  A superior dessert in every respect, I must say.  Please grant me the pleasure of helping you extract two tarts from this fine English packaging.



Gray: I say, old knitted things: I don't know if you've noticed it or not, but these tarts are past the Best By date.
K-9: See!
Rex: Here we go again.



Gray: Mmm, delightful!  The outer crust is particularly fine.  Ah, decided to taste the interior, what?  A splendid idea, old beans.
Rex: We're not stuffed with old beans.  We're stuffed with [CONTENT CENSORED BY ORDERS OF THE MISTRESS].
Gray: I assure you, I've no desire to offend.  It's just an expression I picked up last year while exploring the North of England.
Rex: You know, I'm tired of hearing about how much greater your adventures were than ours.  And I'm tired of your so-called English dialect.  People in England don't talk like that these days!
Gray: Steady on, old knitted thing!  I'm sure I've never compared my expeditions, grand as they were, with your--
Rex: Enough!  K-9 and I were assigned kitchen duty for today, not you! Get out!
Gray: Good heavens!  How common!
Rex: That's it!  Vacate this room immediately, or I'll exterminate you. 
Gray: You haven't heard the last of this!  I'll have my solicitor dash off a letter to the Dalek minister in Whitehall about your attack on my soundness.  He knows how many beans make five!
Rex: That's it!  I gave you fair warning!  Exterminate!  Exterminate!! Exterminate!!!


K-9: Finally, a moment alone with my tarts.  Mmm, delightful!

K-9, Rex, & Dalek the Gray

1 comment:

  1. Wait a minute!!!! I was to be on kitchen duty, not Rex. Rex is this why you traded with me? I want my tart.

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