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Thursday, March 14, 2013

Marvel Superheroes Need Hostess Desserts


Since my discovery that I could secure the missing issues in my comic book collection for as little as $1 an issue, I’ve been having a blast, visiting comic book stores, perusing the shelves, and of course, reading some terrific stories!  “Conan The Barbarian” #68 featured not just the title hero, but his pirate-love Belit, red-haired fellow adventurer Red Sonja, and in a remarkable twist, Robert E. Howard’s first barbarian hero, King Kull.  At first, Kull’s inclusion seems an impossible feat, as he lived thousands of years before Conan.  But trust the mighty Marvel to find a way to unite such a barbarian dream team!  In “Conan The Barbarian” #96, Conan stalks the forest with a lion who fights by his side, as he seeks to rescue Belit from a villainous king.  And in “Star Wars” #17, I traveled back to Tatooine to watch Luke Skywalker shoot wamp rats from his landspeeder, before he competes against his friend Biggs in a skyhopper race through Beggars Canyon.  Unfortunately for Luke and Biggs, Tuskin Raiders (yes, those dreaded sandpeople) turn up to spoil their day!

Spiderman's Secret Weapon

Comic books back then were less sophisticated than those produced today, but they also cost less, as Marvel offset the sales price with ad revenue.  Part of the fun for me of reading these old magazines is the old advertisements.  Some offer toys, candy, job retraining, or how to get “An Atlas Body in 7 Days."  I particularly enjoy the Hostess ads, which feature the Marvel Superheroes in a short, one-page comic of their own.  Conan #68 features a battle between Spiderman and The Fly, which can only be resolved with Hostess Twinkies.  In Conan #96, a boy helps the incredible Hulk to understand humans better with Hostess Cupcakes.  And in Star Wars #17, the mighty Norse god Thor only prevails against his foes with the assistance of Hostess Fruit Pies.  There’s only one problem with reading those great stories:  Hostess stopped making their famous Twinkies, Cupcakes, Fruit Pies, and (my personal favorite) Zingers last year. 


"Hulk need Hostess Cupcakes!"

This morning, I was powering through my workout at the gym when a TV news show announced that Hostess has been purchased, and all my favorite goodies may soon be back in the stores.  In the “Stan’s Soapbox” portion of Star Wars #17 (November 1978), Stan Lee praised the primetime Spiderman and Hulk TV shows that were attracting more people to the great characters and heroes in the Marvel universe.  Since the comic book industry has stopped relying on so many advertisements, including the Superhero/Hostess ads, Hostess’ problems multiplied, which finally saw them shut down operations last year.  But lately we’ve seen a resurgence of Marvel superheroes in mainstream media, including last year’s “The Avengers,” which now ranks as the biggest movie of all time.  Some people may ask why Hostess needs to be bought out, as there are companies out there marketing generic versions of Twinkies, Cupcakes, and Fruit Pies.  But if Marvel’s Superhero advertisements teach us anything, it’s that there’s something special about Hostess, which is why our protectors need their favorite desserts to foil their most challenging opponents.  So Hostess has to make a comeback, in order to keep the world safe from the forces of evil!


The food of the gods
(Pies produced exclusively at the Hostess factory on Asgard)

Now aren’t you glad you read my blog?  Where else would you learn such earthshattering news that’s both fun and informative?  Please, please, there’s no applause necessary.  Really.  Just send me a box of Zingers, and we’ll call it even.

Dragon Dave

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