Installing a Microwave Oven in 210 Days: Part 6

Ah...a happy sight.

I’ve drawn up a list of resolutions.  Hopefully, on those occasions I break the following resolutions, it will be for sound reasons. 

Rule #1: I pledge to never again believe any of the salespeople’s assurances.  They don’t know about my old appliances, or how they were installed. 

Rule #2: I will research all appliance purchases.  My new microwave’s exhaust fan is much louder than I had anticipated.  (This is not a huge issue, but it’s not like I can return the item now, either).

Rule #3: I will never again buy anything that I’m not going to use immediately.  Whether it’s an art project, installing a microwave, or something else, I pledge not to buy the item (and other associated parts, materials, etc.) and consequently let it clutter up our home until I get around to finishing doing, making, or installing said item.  In other words, don’t plan life too far ahead.  (This may be the hardest rule to follow through on).

Rule #4: I will anticipate problems, and look forward to solving them.  Even when reading the seemingly simple instructions for the wall frame, I felt as if I needed one of those cryptographic decoding machines James Bond was trying to get in “From Russia With Love.”  Or, as Kenneth Johnson said about writing his “Bionic Woman” scripts, obstacles define character.  Hungering for an easy life leads to procrastination and perfectionism.  I want to be more like Terrance Dicks, tough enough to overcome whatever problems that life throws my way.

Rule #5: I refuse to feel ashamed for choosing inelegant fixes.  Increasing the width of the dado on each cabinet, and gluing-in a strip of ¼” Oak below the shelf, might have been more elegant, but that would have taken more effort, precision, and time.  I will remember how ineffective Drax and Dran (or Perfectionism and Procrastination) were in Roger Zelazny’s story “The Slow Kings.”  After all, the brackets were inexpensive (parts and materials only cost us $19.25), and saved us lots of hassle and labor. 

(Note: if the microwave comes crashing down on the stove later, rethink Rule #5).

Well, there you have it: my five resolutions for the future.  As for the current project, I still have to decide whether to raise the doors above the microwave or affix some kind of hardware (such as pull-knobs).  I also need to reposition the upright supports.  This time I’ll drill pilot holes first so as not to bend the shelf unnecessarily.  Completing these last few details will go a long way toward making my project not only look more professional, but more serviceable.  Before, we didn’t use the area above the microwave for anything more than storing the broiler pan we never use in our gas oven.  Hopefully, when I’m finished, I’ll have more storage space above, and use it daily for storing the pans we use most. 

Installing our new over-the-counter microwave may have taken us 210 days, but no doubt saved us several hundred dollars in labor.  We can put that money toward our next vacation.  (Even if, unlike Phileas Fogg in Jules Verne’s classic novel, we only travel halfway around the world). 

Exhausted, but satisfied,

Dragon Dave

Related Dragon Cache entries

Terrance Dicks: Don’t Let the Screen Go Dark

Installing a Microwave Oven in 210 Days: Part 5

The shelf (finally) nears completion.

In the afternoon, we cut the additional ¼” of depth for the exhaust fan opening, then brought the shelf back inside, and secured it with a screw at each corner.  Then we picked up the microwave, slid it between the cabinets, and set it on the metal frame’s lower support tabs.  With a little fiddling, and a shove, the back of the microwave sat back against the wall.  Kneeling, my arms locked, I supported the microwave from below, tilting it up and down at my wife’s direction so she could double-check the drill locations for the upper support bolts and the power cord.  But she was having trouble peering in there and aligning the marks on the underside of the shelf with the holes in the top of the microwave, so we exchanged positions.  I also found it difficult to be certain, but as with the exhaust fan opening, the holes just didn’t seem to be lining up.  So I measured from the front of the shelf to each hole on top of the microwave, and marked new drill holes, this time on top of the shelf. 

Our new microwave oven might weigh half of what the old one did, but that didn’t mean it was light.  My wife was relieved when I concluded the measurements and we set the microwave back atop the stove.  We unscrewed the shelf, carried it back outside, and then reversed the template to match my new markings on top of the shelf.  Using these as a reference, we marked another hole for the power cord.  We also needed ¼” thick support blocks between the microwave and the shelf, so my wife drew those out on an old scrap of ¼” plywood.  I drilled all the holes in the shelf and the ¼” plywood, then cut out the blocks with the jigsaw.  We brought the board inside, set it on the brackets, and secured it with a screw at each corner.  Then, after a short rest, we lifted the microwave, set it on the frame’s lower support tabs, and tested the bolts and power cord hole.  It looked like everything would fit. 

Returning the microwave to the stove, we went to work installing the remaining screws up through the brackets and into the shelf.  We had guessed wrong with two of the brackets along the back, and so we didn’t bother with them, as they were set a little too low.  Still, even without those two, we decided that the others should do the job.  

At this point, I feel in need of support
as I install the upright support pieces.

The contractors had installed two boards vertically above the old shelf, presumably for support.  They had secured these with 1”x1” boards at top and bottom.  My wife pulled out the staples affixing each 1”x1” to the bottom of the boards, and measured the ¾” from the bottom.  I used my circular saw to reduce the height of each board.  We drilled new pilot holes and screwed on the bottom 1”x1” pieces.  Then we shoved these back up above the shelf, and I drilled and screwed in these vertical supports.  I tried to match up the boards with their previous locations, but by this time, I lacked the patience and focus.  I installed screws where I could best approximate the boards had been before. Because I didn’t drill new pilot holes, the shelf ended up bending down a little in the center.  Now it rested on the two brackets we had set just a little too low against the wall. 

Once more (hopefully one final time), we carried over the microwave.  Setting it on its support tabs, we pressed it back against the wall.  With the exhaust fan opening in position, I held on while my wife threaded the bolts down into the microwave.  I could feel it growing lighter as she tightened the bolts.  Finally, I was able to stand up, and let go of the microwave.  It was in!

My wife used tin snips to cut ¾” off the lower section of the exhaust tube.  Then she wrangled with the two pieces until she finally fit them together.  She pressed the 1”x2” Oak trim back into the shelf.  We didn’t think the cabinet doors would fit without readjustment, but when I handed her one, she reattached it, and to our surprise it closed.  She put on the other, and it fit also.  We can no longer pull the doors open from below, as the microwave’s added height leaves zero margin between the bottom of the doors and the top of the oven, but for the moment, that’s okay. 

Linda, Exhaust Tube Wrangler.

With our flagging strength, we reconnected the oven and heaved it back into place.  Earlier, we had considered celebrating the completion of our project with dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant.  But we felt as if we’d just gone ten rounds with George Foreman (with or without his grill), so we took a shower to freshen up, made nachos (using our new microwave to heat up our homemade refried beans), and collapsed on the sofa, where we enjoyed the second James Bond movie, “From Russia with Love,” with dinner.

The name’s Dave: D. I. Y. Dave.

Exhausted but contented,

Dragon Dave

Installing a Microwave Oven in 210 Days: Part 4

Measure twice, then cut once.
Repeat as necessary.
(Or: Try and try again until you finally succeed).

After watching the Formula One Hungarian Grand Prix with breakfast, we began our day by relocating one of the brackets we had installed yesterday, as my wife realized that we had set it in the exhaust fan area.  So, we couldn’t use that stud in the wall for support.  Hopefully, all our little brackets, set into the drywall and the half-inch sides of the Oak cabinets, would support our new over-the-stove microwave.  After all, it only weighed half as much as the one we had taken out.

Then we set up shop outside.  We dragged over a duck-board garden bench we made many years ago, and used it for our workbench.  We got our drills and our jigsaw, and I finally found my father’s old crosscut saw in the garage.  We measured where we would need to cut the melamine for the shelf.  As the screw heads protruded from the brackets, we had to account for that.  I tried my best to remember the visual reference for where the blade would cut.  Then I switched on the old saw and made my first crosscut. 

When we tried the board for width, it was too long.  As it turned out, I had allowed too much for the width of the blade.  So I trimmed off a thin slice.  Still, it wouldn’t quite fit.  So we made a third cut.  Hooray: the board slid onto the brackets nicely.  We checked our initial measurements for width, and decided we needed to reduce the shelf’s width by an additional 1/8” due to the protruding screw heads.  So we took the board back out outside, measured, and I ripped the ¾” excess off the board.  Then we took it inside to check how it fit.  I might have cut off a 1/16th too much, but no one would notice when we pressed the 1”x2” Oak trim back in front.  

I have no idea how old my father's Skil saw is.
Newer models tantalize with more features, and
I've often thought of replacing it, but I never have.
Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever
even changed the blade.

Using our template, we marked the drill holes for the upper support screws and the power cord.  Then we drew out the rectangle in back for where the metal frame above the microwave’s exhaust fan would protrude into the shelf.  We used the jigsaw to cut the opening, took the shelf inside to rest on the brackets, marked our screw-holes, then went back outside and drilled those.  Then we set it back inside on the brackets, and installed a screw at each corner to hold the shelf in place.  

We lifted the microwave, slipped it between the cabinets, and set it onto its lower support tabs.  The microwave refused to sit back against the frame.  Although we had followed the template, it seemed we needed to increase the width of the exhaust-fan rectangle by ¼”. 

By now it was noon.  We broke for lunch, warming up leftover pizza in our old countertop microwave oven.  We watched a first season episode of “The Six Million Dollar Man” while we ate.  In the story, written by D. C. Fontana (who had served as Gene Roddenberry's assistant and also wrote episodes of "Star Trek"), Steve Austin helps train Kelly, a female astronaut (played by Lee Major’s then wife Farrah Fawcett Majors) for her first space flight.  When the capsule develops a fault and must dock at Skylab, the hatch refuses to open, trapping Kelly and her injured copilot inside the capsule.  So Steve heads a rescue effort, and uses his bionic strength to open the hatch.  Then he goes outside to effect repairs so the doctor he brought up can perform surgery on the injured astronaut.  Unfortunately, it seems as though Steve's bionic limbs and eye don’t have sufficient radiation shielding: his vision goes fuzzy several times, and he suffers episodes of shaking and reduced strength.  Thus, when all four return to Earth in Steve’s capsule, Kelly must pilot the unbalanced and overweight craft manually, something she’s unprepared for. 

After pizza and a Brownie-Fudge Klondike for dessert, we felt more stiff and tired than before.  I mused that, working outside, the sun’s UV radiation must be sapping our strength, just as it had Steve’s.  My wife shook her head.  It wasn’t ultraviolet that was to blame, but microwaves.  Oh well.  Time to go back outside, and resume our work.

Hoping we can finish in the afternoon,

Dragon Dave

Related Dragon Cache entry

Bionic Dreams

Installing a Microwave Oven in 210 Days: Part 3

"C'mon little shelf, now don't be shy,
Momma's gonna make you go bye-bye."

After breakfast, my wife prepared the area by banging out the nails that had held the shelf’s 1”x2” support blocks into the cabinets.  Thankfully, they all came out nicely.  Unfortunately, she also discovered that the shelf dug into each cabinet via a dado.  We couldn’t tell how deep each dado was, so I used a hammer and a piece of wood to try to bang the shelf out.  But all my careful banging accomplished was to create fracture lines in the shelf.  So I wouldn’t be able to reuse the shelf.  Using my jigsaw, I cut the board in two places, and my wife removed the pieces.  We’d need to buy another board and cut it to size, but hey, the people at Home Depot need to keep their jobs, right?

After removing the shelf, we set the microwave on its rear support tabs and pressed it back against the wall.  Then we drew a line along the cabinets and wall to give us a sense of where the top of the microwave would be.  As it turned out, we only needed an additional quarter inch of height, but because the dado had been routed into the outside of each cabinet, we would need to set the shelf above the dado, or 5/8” higher. 

After setting the microwave back atop the stove, we debated on the best way to support the new shelf.  The best solution might have been to widen the dado the needed ¼”, but that would necessitate taking down the cabinets.  So we cleaned up and headed off to lunch, run more errands, and consult the experts at Home Depot.  There, we found a piece of melamine that just needed ¾” ripped off, but the man working in the lumber area explained that his saw couldn’t rip it to size for us unless I bought a board twice as wide.  We would need to make the cuts ourselves.  We also studied various options for supporting the new shelf in the hardware aisles, and picked out three different types of metal brackets. 

When we returned, we studied the various brackets, and determined the best location for each.  We made our measurements, drilled our pilot holes, and installed the brackets.  I know this doesn’t sound like a lot of work, but it was time consuming, as we had to guess at the best weight distribution areas, and where the bottom of the shelf would sit, as the bottom of each bracket would sit below the bottom of the board.  As each bracket was different, this proved a challenge.  (Of course, we hadn’t bought enough of the right kind of screws, so we scrounged from past supplies).  

David does his best Vanna White impression.
(Note our wide selection of brackets!)

After all this, it was time for dinner.  We were exhausted, and we had plenty more work ahead before we could install our over-the-stove microwave.  So we warmed up yesterday’s pizza in our old countertop microwave, and enjoyed dinner and a movie. 

Tonight’s selection: “Dr. No,” the first James Bond film.  While the villain’s island compound gets destroyed in the end, it had boasted numerous architectural features.  If he could build such a place, the least we could do was install a microwave oven.  As for building the facilities to house our own nuclear reactor, that project would have to wait for another day. 

Tired, but with the end in sight,

Dragon Dave