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Friday, June 7, 2013

Dalek Training

Bug: Phew, I thought I'd never get unpacked.
Are all plane trips so tiring?
Pocket: Bug, come here.


Bug: What is it?
Pocket: It's a book.
Bug: Well, I didn't think it was a banana.
Denim: That's enough lip, mister.  No one disrespects Pocket.
Bug: Sorry, sir.
Pocket: Your new mistress will need you to take care of her.
It's our job to make sure you're up to the task.
So put your auditory sensors on full,
and limit your vocalizations to essential questions.  Got it?
Bug: Yes sir.  It's just that I know I'll need to guard my new mistress' books.
Master has a tower of them by his bed.
Pocket:  Right, then follow me into the kitchen.

Pocket: Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to exterminate we go...
Denim: Keep up the pace, no lagging now.
Bug: I'm trying to keep up.  It's just hard to move fast
without the aid of static electricity.
Denim: I don't want to hear any excuses, mister!

Pocket: This is where you'll make your new mistress her coffee.
It's a tricky process, so pay attention.
Bug: Master and Mistress don't drink coffee.
How did you learn how to make it?
Denim: That's not an essential question, mister!



Pocket: Okay, my olfactory sensors detect well-brewed coffee,
and an appropriate mixture of cream and sugar.
I also like the way you arranged everything on the placemat.
But remember, your new mistress will need other nutritious items,
such as fruit, milk, and cereal, to give her a balanced diet.
Bug: This was all Master and Mistress had on hand for--
Denim: No excuses, mister!
Pocket: (private channel) You can ease up on the new recruit, Denim.
He seems fairly sharp.
Denim: Just trying to maintain good Dalek discipline, sir.
Pocket: I know, and believe me, it's appreciated.
(Public channel) Okay, let's head back to the bedroom.



Pocket: So, when it comes to--
Bug: Hey, here come Master and Mistress.  Whoa, that's different.
Pocket: Turn around, quick!
Bug: I don't understand.  What were they doing?
Denim: Never you mind, mister!
Bug: But my mistress--
Pocket: Your mistress won't be doing that.
At least, not for some time.
But this is a good time to point out that you'll also turn away
when she watches "Doctor Who."

Pocket, Denim, & Bug

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