Jet Li and John Hannah Play With Fire

In “The Mummy: Curse of the Dragon Emperor,” Jet Li plays the title role of Emperor Han.  Once he is resurrected, he not only has the ability to transform his personal appearance, but he can also control the elements, including fire.  In one scene, the script calls for Emperor Han to summon fire with his hands, then form a ball of fire in the air between them.  In order to achieve this, the special effects crew dipped Jet Li’s hands in transparent goo, and then lit them with a butane torch.  Supposedly this is safe enough: as long as the actor’s hands don’t feel warm, he’s in no danger.  Indeed, the production got the shot they wanted, and then shot Jet Li’s hands with a fire extinguisher, smothering the flames before they could injure him.  During post-production, the special effects people enhanced these flames, and added the fireball that the Emperor summons in the movie.

Jet Li has been in countless movies.  He risks injury every time he performs a stunt.  But no process is entirely safe, and accidents--sometimes tragic ones--occur on film sets, just as they do in real life.  So be honest when you consider this question.  Could you dip your hands in this goo, allow the production crew to light your hands with a butane torch, and then perform your scene with the utmost concentration, while real flames are burning away at your precious, irreplaceable palms and fingers? 

At the museum in Shanghai, a group of Chinese soldiers reawaken the Emperor Han.  They then flee in his chariot, drawn by the Terracotta/mummy-horses that have also been reawakened.  Rick and Evelyn O’Connell give chase in a truck filled with fireworks, along with Evelyn’s brother Jonathan (played by John Hannah).  Then a firework shoots at Jonathan, and sets his rear end ablaze.

In order to achieve this shot, the special effects crew wrapped the actor’s lower torso in protective material.  His pants went over this.  The crew then ignited John Hannah's butt, and the director ordered the fireworks truck to race off through the narrow streets of 1940s Shanghai.  Consider, for a moment, John Hannah's plight if something had gone wrong.  Imagine being sent to the hospital, to seek the aid of a qualified surgeon, and hearing him say…

“Excuse me?  You need a skin graft where?”

I've often thought it'd be nice to be an actor.  I could handle lounging around in my trailer all day until the director needed me for a particular scene.  I think I could be talked into attending the glamorous award ceremonies.  After those insufferable post-awards parties, I could fly off in my personal jet, and recharge on my own private island.  I'm just not sure I could let people set me on fire, not for any amount of fame or fortune.  

Still, for the personal jet, and the private island...

Dragon Dave

Mummies, Yetis, and Zombies, Oh My!

Part of the reason I fell in love with “The Mummy” and “The Mummy Returns” was because the films crossed Agatha Christie with Indiana Jones.  Like many of her generation, the treasures waiting to be unearthed in Egypt fascinated Christie.  She traveled there, helped out at various excavations, and eventually met her future archeologist husband, Sir Max Mallowan.  Not only did she set stories and novels there, many of them featuring her famous detective Hercules Poirot, but she also wrote a novel set in Egypt 2000 B.C.  Now take her obsession with all things Egyptian, add the supernatural powers the ancient Egyptians believed their tombs had, combine this with two characters, the gunfighter Rick O’Connell, and the archeologist Evelyn Carnahan (who together combine the two essential aspects of Indiana Jones), and you’ve got the fast-paced action and historical depth of the first two Mummy movies.

In the third movie, “The Mummy: Curse of the Dragon Emperor,” Rick and Evelyn travel to China, where their son Alex has unearthed the famed Terracotta warriors, as well as the tomb of the Dragon Emperor, who united all China under his despotic rule in the second century B.C.  Although Rick and Evelyn try to prevent this, the Dragon Emperor returns to life, and calls on his Terracotta warriors to rise up and help him rule China once more.  Through the aid of their friend Yi Zuan from Shangri La, who calls up the bodies of those who died building the Great Wall, Rick, Evelyn, and Alex O’Connell lead the zombies against the Terracotta warriors.  After a mighty battle, their zombies defeat his Terracotta warriors, and they vanquish the Dragon Emperor.

What fascinated me most about the third mummy movie was not the Dragon Emperor, who is a different kind of mummy from Imhotep in the first two films.  Nor was it the Terracotta warriors, as I’ve used lots of terracotta pots in my garden over the years, and hence wouldn’t select them for any army I commanded.  It wasn’t even the zombies, even though zombies are always dangerous, and some of the most famous people in history, from Jane Austin to President Lincoln, have had to battle them.  No, it was the Yetis that helped the O’Connells in the Himilayas that most intrigued me.  I’ve always loved stories about Yetis, as well as their friends, the Abominable Snowmen.  So a few years ago, after I watched the third Mummy move, I decided to climb Everest, and see if I could find a Yeti.

Traveling there was expensive and arduous.  Funding my expedition, and climbing the famous mountain, proved even more so.  Along the way, I stopped off at a Yeti museum, to study their history and culture, and make sure I was prepared to initiate contact.  

Eventually, I found a small family of them in a cave. After I made my intentions clear, they welcomed me inside.  We shared many days together, regaling each other with stories of our past, our culture, and our hobbies.  Then it was time to leave, as the yaks had run out of food, and stopped producing milk and butter my Sherpa porters needed to keep healthy.  I felt a sense of satisfaction as I descended the famous mountain.  For I had met the Yetis, and discovered that underneath all their hair, they were not so different from me after all.

Still, I wish I’d met the family of Yetis that helped the O’Connells defeat the Dragon Emperor’s human soldiers in the third movie.  Those Yetis were true athletes, capable of fantastic feats of physical prowess.  One even kicked a Chinese soldier over the gate of the mountain temple complex, and then with clenched fists, raised both hands over his head to celebrate his field goal.  Those Yetis probably get good TV reception up on Mount Everest.  I wonder if they’re rooting for the 49ers or the Ravens in the Superbowl, and if they ordered enough chicken wings for today's game?

Dragon Dave