Marvel Zombies: Red Band #2 Review

 

Writers: Ethan S Parker & Griffin Sheridan

Artist: Jan Bazaldua

Colorist: Erick Arciniega

Letterer: Travis Lanham

Cover Artists: Greg Land & Rachelle Rosenberg; Scott Koblish & Val Staples; Scott Hepburn & Yen Nítro; Adam Warren & Lee Duhíg

Design: Sarah Spadaccini

Editors: Emerald Bensadoun, Jordan D White & EB Cebulski

Publisher: Marvel Comics

Price: $4.99

Release Date: October 22, 2025

 

Peter Parker anticipated making his spectacular debut on the Ed Sullivan show. Instead, he suffered a panic attack when zombies invaded a hospital. The Frightful Four created the zombies when they returned from space in their stolen NASA rocket. Iron Man, snooping on the Teen Brigade's radio frequency, heard Rick Jones hail Hulk. While Donald Blake will never tap his cane again, Daredevil wonders if zombies can reclaim their Humanity.

 

The only one who can deter the zombies is Hulk. He alone has confronted the walking dead before. Can Hulk, Spider-Man, and the newly christened Defenders defeat the zombie horde? Or will TVA agents erase everyone from existence to preserve the sacred timeline? Let's thwip into Marvel Zombies: Red Band #2 and see.

 

Story

Jean Grey never belonged anywhere until she joined Professor Xavier's school for mutants. Despite his assurances, Jean worried about destroying his school and killing her fellow students while she dreamed. Like any anxious soul spending their first night in a new place, Jean's fears conjured a nightmare. But when Scott attacked her, and she had to kill him in self-defense, Jean realized that his attack was no dream.

 

As Marvel Zombies: Red Band #2 introduces Jean Grey and Jessica Jones, it also looks in on Peter Parker. Jean and Jessica fight a losing battle to save people from the undead. Yet, the dwindling survivors hail Spider-Man for delivering them from the zombies. Even though society has fallen, and he no longer has a family to protect, Peter shies away from revealing his identity. Still, he becomes a leader to Jean Grey and Jessica Jones.

 

 

 

Most Humans who become zombies swiftly lose their self-awareness. Reed Richards clings to his sanity in Ethan S Parker and Griffin Sheridan’s story. Mr Frightful knows he has changed. Still, he yearns to share what he learned in space with the brightest minds on Earth. Instead, Reed Richards must fight to prevent the ever-growing horde of the undead from turning on each other.

 

Like many of New York’s heroes and villains, Reed Richards falls into another being's trap in Marvel Zombies: Red Band #2. Now, on a patchwork planet, the man who loves science leads his undead warriors against Earth's mightiest heroes. Reed knows he doesn't have much time left. He may not survive Battleworld. But if he wins, the Beyonder has promised to reward the victors with anything they desire. Perhaps, the Beyonder can even help the Frightful Four regain their Humanity and turn their cursed voyage into a blessing for Earth.

 

 

 

Art

Lights glow in Professor Xavier's mansion as he clasps Jean’s arm and assures his new student that she is safe in his care. But when Jean awakens, her bed has moved to a mutant Deadite cemetery. After the pristine architecture of Xavier’s mansion, Jean wavers between mercy and vengeance among the backstreets and alleys of New York City. Yet she walks through blood and body parts, just as she did when she left Xavier’s school for mutants.

 

While Erick Arciniega lavishes a loaded palette on Marvel Zombies: Red Band #2, Jean’s red hair binds her to Spider-Man’s suit. As she accepts Jessica Jones’ friendship, Jessica’s purple hair links her with the zombies. Yet when they trade the red sky above the glowing yellow and orange buildings for another’s domain, Jessica’s purple hair links her with the planet-filled sky above Battleworld. Jan Bazaldua portrays the fighting on a two-page arcing layout, with the final panel evoking Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 

 

 

 

Travis Lanham fills white dialogue balloons with black uppercase letters that grow bold for intonation, swell for intonation, and shrink for lowered voices. Zombies argue with larger dialogue in cloudy balloons. The narrator speaks into torn yellow boxes. Iron Man’s words fill yellow hexagons with red borders. Sound effects help readers hear the zombies tear through the ground, shriek, and feed. Yet whatever happens, Jean Grey seems destined to hear undead jaws snapping for her throat every time she closes her eyes. Thanks to Marvel Comics for providing a review copy.

 

 

 

Final Thoughts

As Humanity’s numbers dwindle, a portal appears in Central Park. Those who enter find themselves on Planet Undead Hulk. Avengers battle Frightful Enforcers for the ultimate prize. But while most of the “heroes” fight to reclaim the past, one pursues a lifelong goal in Marvel Zombies: Red Band #2.

 

Rating 9.8/10

 

To look inside see my review at Comic Book Dispatch. 

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Ninjas

A gentleman's English country house.

Life is change, and those who excel in life are often those who adapt to change most successfully. Just as politicians learn to adapt their strongly held views to the currents flowing through our twenty-four hour news cycle, so publishers learn to adjust their offerings to meet readers' changing tastes. Film seems to lag behind however, as studio heads bend over their calculators, performing risk assessments before investing the $100 million or more deemed necessary to compel young viewers into the cinema. 

Such has proven the case with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an enormously popular novel by Seth Grahame-Smith. Although he published the novel in 2009, and today's youth seem obsessed with zombies (and the people who hunt them), it was his next novel, Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, that was first made into a movie in 2012. But fans of Jane Austin and Zombies don't have much longer to wait, as Entertainment Weekly reports that Writer-director Burr Steers has begun filming Grahame-Smith's first literary venture. 

A stranger calls to tea.

As proof that Steers has zeroed in on what fans want in their next big screen Jane Austen adventure, consider this snippet from Lindsey Bahr's First Look article in the November 7, 2014 issue of Entertainment Weekly. 

"In the original story, Elizabeth [Bennett] is a fighter and beyond her contemporaries in her ambitions and her ideas of women, "Steers says. "She's a badass warrior. She's a ninja."

Elizabeth Bennett,
Badass Ninja

Such a view may take a little getting used to for those of us old folks who grew up with Jane Austen's original story, and the more faithful adaptations of Jane Austen's works. But why shouldn't classic novels be updated for today's audiences? It's not as if Hollywood usually adapts books without making substantial changes to their big screen cousins, is it? So why can't Jane, Elizabeth, Lydia, Mary, and Kitty be sword- and knife-wielding martial artists? Now, if they can film the movie in the Japanese language, and add voice dubbing totally out of sync with the actors' lip movements, the new movie will sit comfortably alongside the martial arts movies I grew up watching on my 13" B&W tube TV. 

And if all that's not enough, actor Matt Smith will play the role of Mr Collins, the clergyman who seeks Elizabeth's hand because his patroness, Lady Catherine De Bourgh, thinks he ought to get married. You all know Matt Smith, right? Our "Timey Wimey" incarnation of Doctor Who? Oh, so much to look forward to!

BTW, I've updated the page My Ten Most Popular Posts. If you haven't checked it out lately, you'll find some new titles on the list. While readers still read old posts like "Pocket Dalek Knitting Pattern," "The Famous Woodworker of Kilburn," and "Norman Clegg's TV House," you'll find some new titles there, including one on a manga adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. Why should readers be so interested in a manga adaptation of Jane Austen's classic novel, you ask? Well, Manga is the Japanese version of graphic novels, and Japan is not only one of the homes of sword- and knife-wielding martial artists. It's also where Ninjas come from.

"Could I beg another glass of your delicious sake, Miss Bennett?"

"Of course, Mr. Darcy. And may I offer you more fugu sashimi?"

"I would be delighted, Miss Bennett."

Dragon Dave

No longer in My Top Ten, but still popular
Pocket Dalek Knitting Pattern          
The Famous Woodworker of Kilburn        
Norman Clegg's TV House        

Kevin J Anderson on Fighting For Others' Rights

You never know who you'll encounter
when you're with Dan Chambeaux.

In his novel Death Warmed Over, Kevin J Anderson introduces us to Dan Chambeaux. Unlike some other fictional detectives, such as Hercule Poirot and Thomas Magnum (of Magnum P.I.), Dan doesn't spend the novel pursuing a single mystery, nor does he limit himself to two cases. Instead, he juggles a number of mysteries, and with his partner Robin Deyer, helps protect the rights of additional worthy parties. But then, he's not a normal private investigator. He was shot in the head, buried in a cemetery, and then clawed his way out of the ground to continue his firm's investigation. He didn't even take a day off to relax and get used to his new status as a zombie. That's how dedicated Dan Chambeaux is to solving mysteries and fighting for other people's rights.

When I previously mentioned Dan, I had only read a quarter of Death Warmed Over. I wrote because I was enjoying his first novel so much, and also wanted to alert you to a limited time offer from the publisher to download the ebook for free. Suffice it to say that I never stopped enjoying Dan's first adventure. I admire his sense of purpose, dedication to his clients, drive to solve cases, and concern for others. If I was a zombie, I'd want to be just like Dan.*

Dan's got a lot on his plate in this first novel. In addition to the cases I mentioned in Kevin J Anderson on Zombies and Ghosts, there's Hope Saldana. Someone's vandalized Hope and Salvation, the mission she operates in the Undead Quarter. She's a member of the living who helps those who have trouble adapting to their new undead status. Dan knows she can't afford to pay him, but he's determined to find out who's broken her doors, windows, and furniture. Then there's Miranda Jekyll, whose husband Harvey is trying to divorce her. Harvey may run Jekyll Lifestyle Products and Necroceuticals, a successful company that caters to the undead, but he wants to cut Miranda off without a penny. He insists that their prenuptial agreement is null and void, as his wife is no longer the same person she used to be. Well, he's got a point: Miranda recently become a werewolf. Still, Dan and Robin see the injustice of the situation, and agree to fight on her behalf.

Consider the plight of Ramen Ho-Tep, a resident of the Metropolitan Natural History Museum. He spent his life ruling Egypt until he was bitten by a tsetse fly. Museum officials consider him their property, but the mummy sees his condition as akin to the slaves over whom he used to rule, and demands emancipation. Or there's Mavis and Alma Wannovich, two local witches who ran afoul of a spell book they recently purchased. An accident turned Alma into a pig (or to be strictly accurate, a sow). The sisters blame the accident on a misspelling, but the publisher insists the book was intended merely for entertainment purposes. And then there's...well, why don't I let you discover them on their own? They all represent problems that would naturally afflict a community after a supernatural event ushers the deceased, mythological creatures, and even garden gnomes into existence. In fact, the rich mix of residents in Dan's Undead Quarter makes the current New Orleans seem colorless in comparison.

Remember, in addition to everything on his plate, Dan's also trying to solving his own murder, and the murder of his former girlfriend, who now works as the firm's secretary. Sheyenne may be a poltergeist now, but he still cares for her. Even if he can't touch her.

The life of a private detective has always been hazardous, and as zombies are no more immortal than the living, the obstacles he faces while pursuing his cases puts his continuing existence at risk. As Dan has always juggled cases, he's got no lack of people with motives to kill him. Sheyenne may believe that Ivory, a vampire lounge singer, slipped her a dose of toadstool poison, but given that Dan started dating her shortly before that, the list of potential suspects and reasons for her death are longer than his own. Still, nothing will stop Dan from heeding the call of justice, whether or not he's getting paid to solve the case or protect the person.

In a world plagued by injustices, I tip my hat to all private investigators everywhere. They especially deserve our praise and respect if, like Hercule Poirot, Magnum P.I., and Dan Chambeaux, they work hard to assist those in need, regardless of their clients' appearance, socio-economic status, or extraordinary biochemistry.

Dragon Dave

*I'd rather not be a zombie, all things considered. At least not until I've lived a long, full life. You know, a good hundred years or so. Then I can die, and reawaken as a zombie if some unexplained event like The Big Uneasy happens. If I meet someone like police Officer Toby McGoohan, whom Dan refers to as McGoo, his BHF, or his Best Human Friend, I might even take up a career as a private detective. Who knows what the future holds? I'd just visit an embalmer to keep looking and feeling my best. Then, when my body needed special attention, I could book an appointment with my local taxidermist. Doesn't that sound better than making hefty payments for health insurance and prescription drugs? 

Kevin J Anderson on Zombies and Ghosts

The Residences of the Dead in Falmer, England

What if death didn't end our lives on Earth? Meet Dan Chambeaux. He's a private investigator who got shot in the head one month ago. Fortunately for him, since an event called the Big Uneasy ten years ago, life goes on for the dead in New Orleans. He's trying to take care of himself, so he frequents a beauty parlor run by morticians, who devote their energies to keeping his hair, skin, and body in peak shape. He doesn't want to be one of those zombies who lets himself go, and have his lips or jaw fall off during an important conversation. Besides, he's got a career, friends who care about him, and a business to run.

As half of Chambeaux and Deyer Investigations, Dan's working a full caseload. Take, for example, the ghost trying to revive his art career. When his family steal his latest masterpiece, Dan tracks the canvas down to the artist's crypt. Trolls have taken up residence there, but Dan peers through the doorway and spies the painting hanging on the wall. The Trolls are willing to exchange the painting for legal ownership to the crypt, but Dan doesn't want to carry the painting out of the cemetery that night. A werewolf, hired by the artist's family, waits among the graves, and being a zombie, Dan can't risk skin and tissue damage from a werewolf attack. Oh, the dilemma!

Or consider the case of a vampire who lives in Little Transylvania. He's relying on Dan to protect him and find his fellow vampires (if they haven't yet been "killed"), so that he can return to his carefree life as an interior designer. Dan suspects the vampires might have vanished of their own accord, as his client obsessively tried to organize them into dinner parties (Note: his client, a former Vegan, only drinks Soy Blood), book discussion groups, and other social events every day of the week. Still, he's concerned by the threatening notes and sharpened wooden stakes left outside the vampire's apartment. Someone might really be after the guy!

While he's working for others, he's also digging into police files and running down leads on his own death. He may still be alive, with embalming fluid pumping through his veins, and bullet wounds sealed over with putty, but it'd ease his mind to learn who had it out for him and why. After all, someone might also be after his partner, the idealistic lawyer Robin Deyer. She may take pro bono cases to defend the rights of the undead, but she'd prefer to remain among the living. And then there's Sheyenne to consider. She may be the best office manager he and Robin ever had, but whoever poisoned her is still at large. He'd do anything for his former girlfriend; her ghostly presence always brings a smile to his face.

I'm currently a quarter of the way into Death Warmed Over, the first novel about Dan Chambeaux, or Dan Shambles as most people call him. I can tell you this: when I'm not laughing out loud, I'm at least smiling. After watching what happened to James Bond in "Live And Let Die," I wasn't sure I wanted to visit New Orleans. But Kevin J Anderson makes the city sound interesting and fun. If this light-hearted undead detective series sounds like something you'd enjoy, head over to Amazon.com, where you can currently download this novel for free. Yes, you read right: For FREE. After all, whether or not you're still breathing, you've still got to feed the need to read. Right?

Dragon Dave

Kevin J. Anderson's Passion For Storytelling

What I'm Reading Wednesday

I’ve always admired Kevin J. Anderson for his business acumen.  I’ve always been grateful to him for helping expand important Science Fiction universes, such as Star Wars and Frank Herbert’s Dune novels.  Meeting him at conventions and book signings has always proven a great pleasure.  Yet, while I’ve enjoyed his novels, I’ve always felt as if I had missed something crucial in his storytelling.  His novels--filled with exciting plots, richly portrayed worlds, and interesting characters—told me everything I needed to know about that particular story...and nothing about him. 

Some people say that a pastor or priest only has one sermon, and that he repeats that sermon, in infinite variation, every time he stands behind the lectern.  That sermon, and the passion and thought behind it, drove him to enter the ministry.  I suspect the same can be said of authors, as each day’s effort involves sitting down before a blank page, and imbuing it with meaning.  Writing is demanding work, and while a lucky few reside atop the bestseller charts year in and year out, most toil in obscurity, and would make far greater incomes if they devoted their energies and creativity to other pursuits.  In a career spanning a quarter-century, Kevin J. Anderson has written, co-written, or edited well over 100 books.  I wondered what ignited his passion for storytelling, and what fire still burned inside him, fueling his literary efforts.

In Resurrection, Inc., his first published novel, I found the answers I sought.  In the near future, blue collar workers are rapidly being displaced.  Servants, reanimated corpses driven by computer chips and synthetic organs, are filling all jobs involving repetitive tasks.  Francois Nathans, the head of Resurrection, Inc., conceived of reanimating the dead as way to free the living from drudgery.  Now he watches as displaced workers choke streets and welfare offices.  Where is the drive, the enthusiasm for reinvention, the fervor for forging greater futures individually and elevating mankind? 

When he decides that something else must be holding mankind back, his attention turns to religion.  And why not?  It’s been argued that, all too often, when seeking value and meaning for their lives, people choose comfortable beliefs over uncomfortable truths.  So Nathans wonders: might religion be inhibiting humanity from achieving the social progress he desires?  With the aid of Vincent Van Ryman, the son of a business partner, he forges a new religion: neo-Satanism.  He intends to create no more than an elaborate sham.  He wants converts to later see through the religion, and in so doing help them see beyond the falsehood he believes underlie all religions.  Yet people—even those he views as smart and intelligent—keep finding value and meaning in the rituals, services, and scriptures he and Vincent create.    

As usual, Kevin J. Anderson provides readers with a compelling future world, a fast-moving plot, interesting characters, and dramatic situations.  With Resurrection, Inc., he offers us a book that's difficult to put down.  But it’s the ideas behind the story, and the questions they raise, that I'll take away from this novel.  For example: What is the proper role of Faith and Belief?  Is Truth something that exists outside us, that we either accept or reject?  Or is Truth something we create for ourselves, and sometimes even knowingly construct from the most outrageous lies.  For some of the biggest, and perhaps the most compelling lies of all, are not Religions, but Fictions.  Some stories and characters grow so important to us that they become a part of us, and guide us through life in crucial ways. 

In Resurrection, Inc., Francois Nathans learns that what drives others, and what they perceive as truth, is at odds with the passion that drove him to create his company, and fueled his efforts to elevate mankind.  I wonder: in his first published novel, did Kevin J. Anderson share a part of his soul?  Did he hint at the passion that caused him to start writing stories, and still fuels his creative engine?  The novel suggests not only why he writes his stories, but perhaps also why I keep on reading him.  It suggests the reason he’s become one of my favorite authors.  For there must be a greater, better, and more elevated reason than that I simply like the guy.  

At least, that's what I believe.

Dragon Dave 

Peter Crowther Lures Me Into Darkness

The World Fantasy Convention is typically held each year in late October or early November.  You know, when it’s cold outside.  This means, when it’s held in places higher up the globe from me like Canada or England, that it’s really cold outside.  (Or at least colder than I'm used to).  Yet one of the things I like about the World Fantasy Convention is that they give you free books.  When you arrive at registration, and pick up your convention badge, they also hand you a bag of free books.  That’s a bag of books that, most likely, you might never otherwise read.  That’s not to say that the authors aren’t noteworthy, or the prose isn’t well written.  It’s just a fact of life that one can never read all the books, or for that matter all the authors, that one would like to.  So when someone places a stack of books in your hands, books that the publishers feel deserve a wider audience, it’s an open invitation to discover new authors.  It's like the publishers are saying, "These stories are so great that you really need to read them." Sure, some of them may not be to your liking, but you never know.  Who’s to say you won’t discover a new favorite author?

The organizers of the 2013 World Fantasy Convention continued this great book-giving tradition, and one of the novels I took up the challenge of reading was Darkness, Darkness by Peter Crowther.  It’s a well-printed hardcover, with attractive cover art, and at 127 pages, promised to be an easy read.  It’s a horror novel set in Jesman’s Bend, “affectionately known locally as the one-horse town to end them all.”  There we meet Rick, a young man who, months ago, was involved in a fatal auto accident.  While it wasn’t his fault, he’s still haunted by the crash, and hasn’t been able to drive since.  Rick holds down the night shift at a local radio station, managed by his brother Geoff.  His sister-in-law Melanie is the DJ.   One day, around three a.m., Rick awakens from another nightmare involving the auto accident to discover that everyone else in the world seems to have disappeared.  Or at least, everyone outside the radio station. 

For a while, Melanie continues to play her music, an eclectic mix of easy listening.  But no one calls in for requests, or just to talk with her, as per usual.  Rick and Geoff make phone calls, but no one answers.  Eventually, they go into town to investigate.  They find crashed cars and half-eaten dinners, but no people.  That evening, they load up on canned goods and lock down their radio station.  They don’t know what’s happened, but they know it can’t be good.

Early the next morning, signs of life appear.  A crashed car drives away.  Those who disappeared are seen working on their cars.  And yet, everything is different too.  The vehicles drive without their lights on, even though it’s still pitch black outside.  People they know walk around with sunglasses on, and their movements are slow and wooden, as if they are no longer familiar with their bodies.  When the men go to town to investigate, their friends and neighbors attack them with slow, purposeful, and emotionless violence. 

These people may sound like zombies, but they’re not mindless.  As they pursue Rick and his brother, they gradually gain familiarity with how their limbs should move, and learn how to respond better to attack.  And some of the cars they’ve worked on are now able to fly.  When their dark glasses get knocked off, their eyes glow red, suggesting that they now see by infrared light.  However, like zombies, these people seem intent on killing the living, which means that the men must flee back to the radio station, where Melanie awaits.  Can they reach her alive, and before the townspeople arrive?  And will they be safe inside its walls?  These are the questions that drive the latter half of the novel.

Darkness, Darkness is a slim volume, and Crowther doesn’t answer all the questions he raises.  But he creates an imaginative world, and populates it with vivid characters and fantastic (if horrific) situations.  While it's too early to declare that I’ve found a new favorite author, I can say that I enjoyed reading his novel.  Crowther packs his story with such a terrific punch that I might just have to seek out the second book in the series to learn what happens next.  I’m glad I had a chance to read one of his stories.  That happy experience might never have happened had I not attended this year’s World Fantasy Convention in Brighton, and had the organizers not continued the practice of including books in the price of membership. 

Now, if only they could hold the convention earlier in the year.  You know, when it’s warmer.

Dragon Dave

Some Missed Opportunities to Die Hard: Part 2

As I said yesterday, the producers of the Die Hard franchise were kind to share a few of their discarded story ideas with me.  Here's another great one that got away.

“Die Hard and Rise Up, Literally”  

When a scientific experiment in one of the colleges at Oxford goes wrong, the dead of England rise from their graves.  John McClane and his new wife Penny are worshipping in Westminster Abbey when zombies push up through the floor.  Kings Edward I, III, IV, and Edward the Confessor argue amongst themselves as to who was the best king, and break into a sword fight with Kings Henry III, V, and VII.  George the Second and James the First take on William Gladstone and William Pitt, arguing that the monarchy usually did a better job of governing England than the politicians ever did.  Elizabeth the First pleads with John to incinerate her fellow undead monarchs with a flame thrower, arguing that the current order of Elizabeth II and those in the Houses of Commons and Lords will never be safe if the zombie royals leave the Abbey.  

Unfortunately, Security confiscated John's flame thrower at Heathrow Airport.

Meanwhile Penny, a literature professor, heads off to Poets Corner, where she argues with such notables as Geoffrey Chaucer, Charles Dickens, and Rudyard Kipling on the nature of man (such as, can a zombie feel, reason, and interact with others like the living).  But Charles Darwin sticks his nose in, arguing that zombies are older (hence wiser), and cannot be killed as easily as the living.  Thus, they represent the pinnacle of natural selection.  They shout such arguments at each other, while Muzio Clementi plays a selection of his favorite sonatas, and then George Frideric Handel takes over, leading a choir of tourists and the undead in a production of “The Messiah.”

John tears himself away from Elizabeth I when, over the racket caused by the choir (zombies can't carry a tune to save their existence), he hears a strange, wheezing sound. A blue box appears, and from it steps a cheerful man with dark hair cut in Beatles-style 1960s.  "Brigadier, I've already explained how the Time Lords brought us to Gallifrey, along with my other four incarnations," he tells the dignified, gray-haired man who follows him out.  "It's called a Time Paradox."  

John McClane grabs the man.  "How'd you get here, in that?" he asks.

The man shakes his head with sad eyes and a tired smile.  "My good man, I've just been...."  He kneels to feel the broken stone floor.  "Oh no!  Oh my!  Can you feel that?"  He looks around, sees all the zombies arguing, fighting, and singing.  He points to the pillars and ceiling, which are shaking.  "The sound level is too loud.  Westminster Abbey is about to collapse!"  He grabs John and Penny, and the four disappear inside the strange blue box.  Then, with a flashing light, and a wheezing sound no one else notices, the box disappears.



Given the current popularity of zombies, as well as the British TV show "Doctor Who," you might think that this movie is a no-brainer.  But somehow the Queen heard about it during the preproduction stage, and called to tell the Die Hard producers that she was not amused.  Apparently, when it comes to Westminster Abbey, she can be quite peculiar.

Dragon Dave

Related Dragon Cache entries
Where Church and State are One: Part 1

Mummies, Yetis, and Zombies, Oh My!

Part of the reason I fell in love with “The Mummy” and “The Mummy Returns” was because the films crossed Agatha Christie with Indiana Jones.  Like many of her generation, the treasures waiting to be unearthed in Egypt fascinated Christie.  She traveled there, helped out at various excavations, and eventually met her future archeologist husband, Sir Max Mallowan.  Not only did she set stories and novels there, many of them featuring her famous detective Hercules Poirot, but she also wrote a novel set in Egypt 2000 B.C.  Now take her obsession with all things Egyptian, add the supernatural powers the ancient Egyptians believed their tombs had, combine this with two characters, the gunfighter Rick O’Connell, and the archeologist Evelyn Carnahan (who together combine the two essential aspects of Indiana Jones), and you’ve got the fast-paced action and historical depth of the first two Mummy movies.

In the third movie, “The Mummy: Curse of the Dragon Emperor,” Rick and Evelyn travel to China, where their son Alex has unearthed the famed Terracotta warriors, as well as the tomb of the Dragon Emperor, who united all China under his despotic rule in the second century B.C.  Although Rick and Evelyn try to prevent this, the Dragon Emperor returns to life, and calls on his Terracotta warriors to rise up and help him rule China once more.  Through the aid of their friend Yi Zuan from Shangri La, who calls up the bodies of those who died building the Great Wall, Rick, Evelyn, and Alex O’Connell lead the zombies against the Terracotta warriors.  After a mighty battle, their zombies defeat his Terracotta warriors, and they vanquish the Dragon Emperor.

What fascinated me most about the third mummy movie was not the Dragon Emperor, who is a different kind of mummy from Imhotep in the first two films.  Nor was it the Terracotta warriors, as I’ve used lots of terracotta pots in my garden over the years, and hence wouldn’t select them for any army I commanded.  It wasn’t even the zombies, even though zombies are always dangerous, and some of the most famous people in history, from Jane Austin to President Lincoln, have had to battle them.  No, it was the Yetis that helped the O’Connells in the Himilayas that most intrigued me.  I’ve always loved stories about Yetis, as well as their friends, the Abominable Snowmen.  So a few years ago, after I watched the third Mummy move, I decided to climb Everest, and see if I could find a Yeti.

Traveling there was expensive and arduous.  Funding my expedition, and climbing the famous mountain, proved even more so.  Along the way, I stopped off at a Yeti museum, to study their history and culture, and make sure I was prepared to initiate contact.  

Eventually, I found a small family of them in a cave. After I made my intentions clear, they welcomed me inside.  We shared many days together, regaling each other with stories of our past, our culture, and our hobbies.  Then it was time to leave, as the yaks had run out of food, and stopped producing milk and butter my Sherpa porters needed to keep healthy.  I felt a sense of satisfaction as I descended the famous mountain.  For I had met the Yetis, and discovered that underneath all their hair, they were not so different from me after all.

Still, I wish I’d met the family of Yetis that helped the O’Connells defeat the Dragon Emperor’s human soldiers in the third movie.  Those Yetis were true athletes, capable of fantastic feats of physical prowess.  One even kicked a Chinese soldier over the gate of the mountain temple complex, and then with clenched fists, raised both hands over his head to celebrate his field goal.  Those Yetis probably get good TV reception up on Mount Everest.  I wonder if they’re rooting for the 49ers or the Ravens in the Superbowl, and if they ordered enough chicken wings for today's game?

Dragon Dave