A Good Day to Die Hard in Hungary

Sometimes, a preview really wins you over.  That was the case for us with “A Good Day to Die Hard.”  We saw the preview, and decided that the movie looked fun.  Thereafter, it didn’t matter what the critics might say, or how audiences might compare it to the previous films.  The preview won us over on the character of John McClane, and the idea of him teaming up with his son against the baddies of Russia.  So we picked up the third and fourth movies in the franchise, and watched them to catch up on what we had missed after the first two films.

Although they’re primarily action movies, the Die Hard movies are also about family.  The first two highlight how a demanding job can detract from your relationship with your spouse.  As John McClane is an exceptional police officer, by the third film, his marriage is on the rocks.  He repeatedly tries to call his wife, but his pursuit of the villains always force him to abort those attempts.  In the fourth movie, he works to win back his daughter, who blames him for her parents' divorce.  Now, in the fifth movie, John's son has been arrested in Russia during an assassination attempt.  He’s been estranged from his son for several years now, and doesn't understand why his son has taken to a life of crime.  So he travels there to attend his son’s trial, and hopes he can do something to aid him.  Only he travels to Hungary, not Russia.

I didn’t realize until the credits that the movie was actually filmed in the Budapest area.  (At one point, Moscow’s colorful cathedral seems to rise in the background).  Some of the chase scenes were filmed at the Hungaroring, one of my favorite Formula One racetracks.  Filmmakers can do so much with special effects these days, and they used these tools not only to transform locations, but also to heighten action sequences.  The automobile chases, the people falling out of buildings and crashing through barriers, and all the explosions, are portrayed so colorfully and artfully, that they better resemble a professional ballet than the ugly gritty reality of so many action films.  Given my recent research, the story also tempts me to view the movie as a contemporary Hungarian Fairytale, with John McClane as a Taltos, a folk hero with special knowledge that allows him to survive the most extreme situations, and can fly through the air and land without sustaining major injury.

But that might be going just a little too far.

Reviewers may have panned the movie.  Audiences may feel it’s the smallest Die Hard ever.  But for an hour and a half, the movie transported me to Russia (even if it was Hungary), and I followed John McClane as he sought to reconnect with a son who had long ago written him off as a father.  Because John's aims were simple, and born of love and concern, I felt for him, smiled and laughed with him, and cheered him on in his (and his son’s) fight with the villains.  Likewise, the plot may have been simple, but what there was of it was good, and always kept me wondering what would happen next.

If you enjoy a movie with lots of action, built around a protagonist who realizes that his most precious treasure is his family, perhaps you’ll find that it’s "A Good Day (for you) to Die Hard."  Or at least, that it’s a good day to go out and watch a fun, light-hearted action movie.

Now, if only it had a few dragons in it.

Dragon Dave 

Some Missed Opportunities to Die Hard: Part 3

This weekend, "A Good Day to Die Hard," starring Bruce Willis as John McClane, arrives in cinemas.  I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to the fifth installment in the venerable Die Hard franchise.  When I go see it, maybe I'll tell you what I thought of it.  (Then again, maybe I won't.  I'm funny like that).  In the meantime, here's one last discarded story concept that the movie producers shared with me.  

“Die Hard in the 25^th Century” 

John McClane, cryogenically frozen before he died, awakens five hundred years from now.  The Earth has been ravaged by nuclear war, and humanity lives in domed cities, controlled by intelligent computers such as Dr. Theopolis.  John is attracted to the beautiful Wilma Deering, but before he can ask her out on a date, the glamorous Princess Ardala arrives with her Draconian invasion fleet.  Ardala demands that John marry her, or she will destroy the Earth in twelve hours.  John gathers Wilma, Dr. Theopolis, and Dr. Elias Huer for a quick huddle, and they discuss how he might sneak explosives aboard Ardala’s flagship without her bodyguard Tigerman sniffing them out.  While they're working on a plan, the TARDIS materializes, and the Doctor steps out.  “John, you’re creating a Fictional Paradox,” he declares.  

John groans.  "Oh great, not you again."  

The Doctor smiles wide, and clasps his hands.  "I have a way of popping up in the most unexpected places, don't I?"

John flees the city with his friend, the robot drone Twiki.  Armed with a laser pistol and a few explosives, can they evade the Doctor, the Earth police, and turn aside the Draconian fleet, without angering fans of “Doctor Who,” or Glen Larson’s beloved TV series, “Buck Rogers in the 25^th Century?”

And will John ever get that date with Wilma Deering?

In addition to acquiring all the various rights, the producers also had difficulty in persuading Bruce Willis to don Buck Rogers' famous white jumpsuit.  But the producers had even more trouble with Twiki.  In addition to his famous catch-phrase, "Bedeep, bedeep, bedeep," the waist-high robot drone insisted that he be allowed to say, "Yippie-kay-yay, John McClane!" 

Suffice it to say, Bruce Willis was not amused.

Dragon Dave

Some Missed Opportunities to Die Hard: Part 2

As I said yesterday, the producers of the Die Hard franchise were kind to share a few of their discarded story ideas with me.  Here's another great one that got away.

“Die Hard and Rise Up, Literally”  

When a scientific experiment in one of the colleges at Oxford goes wrong, the dead of England rise from their graves.  John McClane and his new wife Penny are worshipping in Westminster Abbey when zombies push up through the floor.  Kings Edward I, III, IV, and Edward the Confessor argue amongst themselves as to who was the best king, and break into a sword fight with Kings Henry III, V, and VII.  George the Second and James the First take on William Gladstone and William Pitt, arguing that the monarchy usually did a better job of governing England than the politicians ever did.  Elizabeth the First pleads with John to incinerate her fellow undead monarchs with a flame thrower, arguing that the current order of Elizabeth II and those in the Houses of Commons and Lords will never be safe if the zombie royals leave the Abbey.  

Unfortunately, Security confiscated John's flame thrower at Heathrow Airport.

Meanwhile Penny, a literature professor, heads off to Poets Corner, where she argues with such notables as Geoffrey Chaucer, Charles Dickens, and Rudyard Kipling on the nature of man (such as, can a zombie feel, reason, and interact with others like the living).  But Charles Darwin sticks his nose in, arguing that zombies are older (hence wiser), and cannot be killed as easily as the living.  Thus, they represent the pinnacle of natural selection.  They shout such arguments at each other, while Muzio Clementi plays a selection of his favorite sonatas, and then George Frideric Handel takes over, leading a choir of tourists and the undead in a production of “The Messiah.”

John tears himself away from Elizabeth I when, over the racket caused by the choir (zombies can't carry a tune to save their existence), he hears a strange, wheezing sound. A blue box appears, and from it steps a cheerful man with dark hair cut in Beatles-style 1960s.  "Brigadier, I've already explained how the Time Lords brought us to Gallifrey, along with my other four incarnations," he tells the dignified, gray-haired man who follows him out.  "It's called a Time Paradox."  

John McClane grabs the man.  "How'd you get here, in that?" he asks.

The man shakes his head with sad eyes and a tired smile.  "My good man, I've just been...."  He kneels to feel the broken stone floor.  "Oh no!  Oh my!  Can you feel that?"  He looks around, sees all the zombies arguing, fighting, and singing.  He points to the pillars and ceiling, which are shaking.  "The sound level is too loud.  Westminster Abbey is about to collapse!"  He grabs John and Penny, and the four disappear inside the strange blue box.  Then, with a flashing light, and a wheezing sound no one else notices, the box disappears.



Given the current popularity of zombies, as well as the British TV show "Doctor Who," you might think that this movie is a no-brainer.  But somehow the Queen heard about it during the preproduction stage, and called to tell the Die Hard producers that she was not amused.  Apparently, when it comes to Westminster Abbey, she can be quite peculiar.

Dragon Dave

Related Dragon Cache entries
Where Church and State are One: Part 1

Some Missed Opportunities to Die Hard: Part 1

This weekend, “A Good Day to Die Hard,” the fifth installment in the Die Hard franchise, rolls into theaters.  This time, New York Police Detective John McClane travels to Russia, where he unites with his grown-up son.  Gunfire and explosions follow.  My wife and I plan on seeing this one in the cinema (without D-Box, thank you very much).  Unfortunately, the producers don’t make a new Die Hard movie every year.  Consequently, they have to choose their stories carefully.  I wondered what other types of stories we might have seen, had the producers widened the scope of the Die Hard franchise.  So I wrote to them, and they were kind enough to share a few of their rejected story ideas with me.  Here's one of them that seems timely, given yesterday's focus on Sherlock Holmes.

“Smoke Free and Tie-Die” 

Smoke bombs explode in the White House, filling the rooms and corridors with a purple haze.  The secret service men walk about in a daze, knowing they should be concerned, but somehow, they just don't care.  The staff chat among themselves, and soon lose themselves in mirth.  Somehow, whatever their colleages say seems intensely funny.  The president orders up a banquet, even though he's just eaten an hour ago.  John McClane, leaving the restroom after a White House tour, recognizes the aroma and runs down to Maintenance, where he covers his nose and mouth with a dust mask.  When he emerges, he notices long haired people everywhere, wearing tie-dyed shirts and saying things like "Yeah, man," or "No way, dude!"  

Over the public address system, he hears an announcement.  In one hour, the President will sign an executive order legalizing marijuana use in all fifty states. Realizing that the hippies have taken control, he searches the White House, trying to find the President before he commits an act he may regret.  But while the hippies are pleasant, they keep giving him erroneous directions, sending him off to empty rooms.  And he finds himself giggling for no reason at all.  Soon he finds himself in the Kitchens, where he decides he's intensely hungry.  The chefs offer to make him anything he wants, but John McClane refuses, insisting that he only wants snack food.


Actually, the producers liked this idea, but after President Bush's infamous pretzel incident, they decided that, perhaps, it wouldn't be in good taste.

Dragon Dave