Pocket Dalek’s Got A Gun

Sung to the tune of “Jamie’s Got A Gun” by Aerosmith.

Pocket’s got a gun,

Pocket’s got a gun,

Now everybody’s come undone,

‘Cause they spotted Pocket’s gun,

What do they think he’ll do?

What crimes might he pursue?

They say, “He’s a Dalek with a gun,

And he used to be so fun,

What must have driven him insane?”

Pocket’s got a gun,

Pocket’s got a gun,

He’d envisioned a day of fun,

But now his friends are on the run.

He says, “Please don’t go away,

I’ve planned a real fun day,

I thought we’d go out to a park,

And shoot off lots of sparks,

I’m sure everything will be okay.

“Don’t run away, let’s go out and play, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Don’t run away, can’t we all just play?” yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

We’ll have lots of fun, if you just won’t run, run run away.”

Pocket’s got a gun,

Pocket’s got a gun,

His mistress made him one,

‘Cause he thought he’d look cool with one.

What do you think he’ll do?

He’s the Dalek that cares for you.

He shows you how to make great food, especially Jammie Dodgers,

He says, “Why can’t you just trust me,

A lot of nice guys have guns,

Like Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers.”

“Don’t run away, let’s go out and play,” yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

“Don’t run away, can’t we all just play?” yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

“We’ll have oh so much fun, if you just won’t run, run run away.”

Pocket’s got a gun,

He thought he’d have lots of fun,

But now he’s feeling glum,

‘Cause everybody’s is on the run.

Pocket’s got a gun,

He thought it’d be so much fun,

But now he’s no longer Number One,

‘Cause all his friends are on the run.

Pocket may have a gun,

But now he wishes he didn’t own one,

‘Cause all his friends have come undone,

Just because he’s got a gun.

Lyrics by the tribute band Daleksmith

Related Dragon Cache entries

Daleks Love Jammie Dodgers: A Cookie-Making Tutorial

Daleks Love Sundaes

Pocket: Hey Rex, I don't normally see you in the kitchen.  What are you up to?
Rex: I found this Cinder Toffee in the cupboard.  Master and Mistress must have brought it back from England, then forgotten about it.  I thought I'd make them something special for dessert.
Pocket: Are you sure you know what you're doing?  You haven't been around long.
Rex: I'm a blue Strategy Dalek.  Trust me, I have a plan.
Pocket: All right, I guess you can go ahead, provided I can keep an eye on you.
Rex: Sure.  You can even help.  Get us some bowls, while I open up the bag.

Pocket: I'm not sure Master and Mistress will be happy with us crumbling up their pieces of Cinder Toffee.
Rex: Would you relax?  We only used a few pieces.  And you tasted it.  You know they wouldn't want it to go bad.  
Pocket: I suppose not.
Rex: Now stop worrying, and let's scoop out some ice cream to go on top.
Pocket: On top?
Rex: We're going to alternate layers of Cinder Toffee with Ice Cream.
Pocket: Oh!  I get it.  Good plan!

Pocket: Mmm, you were right.  That Cinder Toffee goes wonderfully with ice cream.  Time for another layer?
Rex: See, you're embracing the plan!

Rex: Well, what do you think?
Pocket:  I think it looks beautiful.  I just wish we had some Jammie Dodgers to add on the side.
Rex: Would you stop worrying?  Trust me.  When they see this, they won't want anything else for dessert. 
Pocket: You keep telling me not to worry, but--
Rex: It must be good advice then.  Just trust in my plan, okay?
Pocket: All right.  So what's next?
Rex: Take this out to Master, and we'll make another for Mistress.  
Pocket: Right.

Pocket: Okay, that's Master and Mistress happy, and I've put away the ice cream.  Uh, why are you crumbling more Cinder Toffee?
Rex: Who told you to put the ice cream back in the refrigerator?
Pocket: But I thought...oh.  I guess they don't call you a Strategy Dalek for nothing.
Rex: Like I keep saying, just trust--
Pocket: In your plan.  Yeah, I think I may just do that, from now on.

Rex & Pocket Dalek

Daleks Love Jammie Dodgers: A Cookie-Making Tutorial

Recently, a new Dalek joined our troop.  We named him Denim, after his blue hemispheres.  As each Dalek must prove his worth, Pocket decided to teach him how to make our favorite English cookies.  

Pocket Dalek: Now that we've made the dough, help me roll it out.
Denim Dalek: You got it, boss.

Denim Dalek: Hey, can I ride that too?  It looks fun!
Pocket Dalek: No, a cutter is a precision tool.
You're obviously not mature enough to use it yet.

Pocket Dalek: Now that we've cut out the layers, it's time to bake them.  
Denim Dalek: Okey-dokey.
Pocket Dalek: Under no circumstances does a Dalek say "Okey-dokey."
Denim Dalek: Sorry, boss.  I guess it just slipped out.

Denim Dalek: Um, the jam smells great!
Pocket Dalek: Be careful when you spread it on the cookies.
Raspberry Jam stains Daleks!

Pocket Dalek: I must say, for your first job, you didn't do half-bad.
Denim Dalek: Thanks boss.  The cookies sure are cute.
Pocket Dalek: Daleks do not use the word "cute."
And English cookies are called "biscuits."
Denim Dalek: Biscuits.  Not cute.  Right, boss.

Denim Dalek: How come ours look different than the store-bought kind?
Pocket Dalek: Ours have fewer preservatives.
Denim Dalek: Oh.  You know, I think our version is better.
Pocket Dalek: Why?
Denim Dalek: Because even if they're smaller, ours have a bigger heart.
Pocket Dalek: Yes, that's because we made them for...Oh no!
Now you've engaged me in sentiment!

Thank you, Daleks, for making us our favorite English cookies.  And Denim, welcome to our house.

Pocket Dalek: It is our pleasure to serve, master!

Denim Dalek: Yes, what he said, master.

Now can we help you exterminate the cookies?

Pocket Dalek: Finally, you sound like a real Dalek!

Dragon Dave

Related Internet Links
Our Jammie Dodger Recipe (we made nearly 4 dozen)