Daleks vs the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

Pocket: Help me carve this up for Master and Mistress.
Denim: Um…if you insist.

Pocket: What's wrong?
Denim: It's that movie we saw last night. What if a Killer Rabbit seeks revenge on us?
Pocket: The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog is only Arthurian legend. 
Denim: Are you sure? The way it decimated his troops...
Pocket: Even if it was based on reality, the events in the film occurred in 932 A.D. There's no such thing as Killer Rabbits these days.

Pocket: See, doesn't that look nice? Mistress will enjoy that. 
Denim: Yes, I suppose so.

Pocket: Would you forget about the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and carve off a piece for Master's dessert? By Davros, you're worried about something you saw in Monty Python and the Holy Grail! There are no such things as Killer Rabbits!

Pocket, Denim, & ...

The Dalek Easter Egg

Pocket: At last! I can't wait to Exterminate it! Exterminate it! EXTERMINATE IT!

Pocket: Mmm…

Pocket: Mmm…

Pocket: Mmm…

Blue Bird: Yes, you really exterminated it, didn't you?
Pocket: Mmm…

Blue Bird & Pocket Dalek

My Reunion With Roald Dahl

On Easter morning, I left the shower to find an Easter Egg from See’s Candy in the bedroom.  After I dressed, I spotted another on the couch.  As we were visiting my mother’s church to spend the day with her, and had a long drive ahead of us, my wife suggested I grab a book.  So I picked up a book I’ve been wanting to read for some time now: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl.  Then I noticed a third Easter Egg beside my computer.

In Dahl’s novel, Charlie lives in a ramshackle house.  His father doesn’t earn much at the toothpaste factory, and with his meager pay, he supports his parents, his wife, her parents, and Charlie.  The diet for all seven consists of bread and margarine for breakfast, boiled potatoes and cabbage for lunch, and cabbage soup for dinner.  On Sundays this routine changes, when the family gets a second helping.  That’s assuming that no unexpected expenses occur, which require them to skip a few meals. 

Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory is located nearby, which means that with every breath, Charlie inhales the mouthwatering aroma of chocolate.  When he sees other children eating chocolate, he can only turn away.  Once each year he receives a Wonka candy bar, and, “on those marvelous birthday mornings, he would place it carefully in a small wooden box that he owned, and treasure it as though it were a bar of solid gold.”  For the first few days, Charlie would only allow himself to stare at it.  Then, “when he could stand it no longer, he would peel back a tiny bit of the paper wrapping at one corner to expose a tiny bit of chocolate, and then he would take a tiny nibble, just enough to allow the lovely sweet taste to spread out slowly over his tongue.”  Through his strict rationing, Charlie makes his chocolate bar last a month or more.

While my wife drove, I read some of the book to her, and shared with her the occasional illustration.  But I lacked Charlie’s self-control, and before the day was out, I had devoured Dahl's novel.  I loved the flow of his prose, his descriptions, inventiveness, and wit.  His characters leap off the page, over-the-top and yet reminiscent of people in the real world.  I haven’t read the story in over three decades, and I’ve never seen the movie adaptations.  I never owned the novel, but checked it out of my elementary school library.  And yet, as I read, memories resurfaced, preparing me for what would occur in the next chapter.  Or on the next page!

They say that you retain less than one percent of your long-term memory.  One percent doesn’t seem like much.  But I’ve reread books after far shorter intervals, and not remembered half of what I remembered of Charlie.  That suggests that Roald Dahl knew how to structure his plots so that they resonated with me, that he shaped his characters with care, and that he painted his scenes with just the right details to allow the mind to retain them.  His attention to detail made my second reading less a fond look back on a forgotten homeland, and more a reunion with a once-close friend.

The next afternoon, I opened up one of my presents, and gazed down at the See’s Easter Egg.  Then, when I could stand it no longer, I cut off a small piece, placed it on a dessert plate, and sat down on the couch.  (Yes, I also shared a piece with my wife).  I picked up the small piece of chocolate, took a tiny nibble, and allowed the chocolate buttercream to tantalize my taste buds.  I might have devoured Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but I want these Easter Eggs to last!

Perhaps there are more than purely literary reasons why I remember this particular Roald Dahl novel.

Dragon Dave

Related Dragon Cache entries

Learning from Roald Dahl's Immortal Stories

Making “Never Enough Chocolate” Ice Cream Bowls: Part 2

Yesterday, I told you about our first attempt at using our Wilton “Ice Cream Bowl Pan.”  As you can see, the cookie dough formed a nice bowl-like structure, and all of them came nicely off the pan.  Nevertheless, a couple ended up with holes in the sides, and to a certain extent, the bowls looked rather porous, so you’ll need an actual bowl to serve them in.  Also, because of the way the dough spread out past the ridges, they ended up with wide, saucer-like edges.  This meant that we needed wide containers to store them in.  We got four in an eight-cup Ziploc container that measured 10.5” long by about 6” wide and 3.5” tall. 

Making them into sundaes that evening was a real treat.  I expected the dough to be brittle, but the bowls held up well to the pressure of digging into the ice cream with the spoon.  The edges, and bowls themselves, broke off in nice pieces when we wanted them to, rather than fracturing and breaking unexpectedly.  As we hadn’t put chocolate chips, or anything else into them, they had a nice, basic flavor, and added to the ice cream (“Triple Brownie” flavor Deluxe Ice Cream brand) without distracting or competing.  And I ended up, on the last spoonful, with both cookie and ice cream, so it was a nice way to finish the dessert.  In case you ran out and bought a Wilton pan after you read yesterday’s post, here’s the recipe we used to make our “Never Enough Chocolate” Ice Cream Bowls, along with the calories, for those who count them.

  

1 Cup Butter (2 sticks)                                                           1630

1 Cup Sugar                                                                            775

½ Cup Brown Sugar (packed)                                                   415

2 Eggs (XL)                                                                             160

2 teaspoons Vanilla extract                                                        20

3 Cups Flour                                                                          1365

1 teaspoon Salt                                                                           0

1 teaspoon Baking Soda                                                              0

6 ounces Grated Dark Chocolate (171 grams)                             898

Total Calories                                                                         5263

My wife made nine cookie bowls out of half of the dough.  After making three more bowls, for a total of twelve, she again rolled out the dough, and using a small round cookie cutter, cut out around forty 1/8” thick cookies.  Each bowl works out to 292 calories, and the cookies averaged (due to size differences) 40 – 50 calories.  Here are some more precise directions.

Cream butter and sugars. 

Add eggs and vanilla, mix well.

Combine four, salt, and baking soda in separate bowl.  Mix well, gradually add to batter.

Stir in grated chocolate. 

Bake 375 F for 8-10 minutes. 

Cool 5 – 10 minutes before removing from pan.

In review, our “Never Enough Chocolate” Ice Cream bowls had a nice basic flavor, and a perfect texture.  The only problem, from our perspective, was that they had a lot of calories.  (In comparison, we could probably eat a richer chocolate cake, with icing, for the same number of calories).  So we’ll have to try a different recipe next time.  Nevertheless, we won't let such an important fact bother us too much, as they really were a nice treat.  

We'll just plan some lower-calorie dinners for the next week.

After we made them, my wife found a more basic, Sugar Cookie-type recipe at the Wilton website.  She noticed their recipe didn’t call for baking soda or baking powder.  So perhaps losing those ingredients would prevent the bowls from falling and spreading out on the pan.  Then again, if you don’t care about the calories, and are throwing a Science Fiction themed party, you could always put ice cream inside, then plunk another one down on top to form Ice Cream Cake Bowl UFOs.  I’m sure they’d be the talk of your intergalactic guests.

Dragon Dave

Related Internet Link

The Wilton recipe

Making "Never Enough Chocolate" Ice Cream Bowls: Part 1

Yesterday, we had planned to drive up to Long John Silvers for lunch (Go Fish!), but when we left for the gym in the morning, it was raining.  At the gym, the local station’s TV weather forecast called for rain all day.  So we decided to stay off the freeway.  We had found this Wilton “Ice Cream Bowl Pan” at Walmart, and at the time it looked like a fun and tasty project.  The pan then sat under our counter, alone, unloved, and forgotten, until yesterday, when my wife, anticipating a day spent inside, felt inspired to bake.  So she dug it out, read the directions, and decided to do something with it.

She has a favorite cookie recipe, one she calls Never Enough Chocolate cookies.  As the pan came with no recipes, she decided to adapt her own and make Never Enough Chocolate Ice Cream Bowls.  You’d never guess that she’s half-Swiss, would you?  (No, I’m not going to tell you which half).  To begin with, she got out a bar of dark chocolate, and chopped it as finely as she could.  Then she put the pieces into her blender and reduced them to a powdery consistency.  After that, she made up the rest of her batter, and put it in the fridge to chill.

After lunch, she took out the dough, and using a floured hand towel (Yes, she suggests that you start with a clean towel), she rolled out the dough until it was 1/8” thick.  Then she found an old plastic container that was 4 ½” in diameter, the size the instructions called for, and cut out large circles.  

She placed a circle of dough atop each bowl-form, and gently molded it onto its sculpted, wavy sides.  Then she put the pan in our oven, preheated to 375 degrees Fahrenheit, and waited patiently for the required 8 – 10 minutes (only switching on the light and peering inside the oven every minute or two to check on their progress).

When the timer dinged (or binged, or cha-chinged), she pulled out the pan, and let the bowl forms cool for 5 – 10 minutes before removing them.  The dough had risen, but it had also sunk down and spread past the little trench designed to catch any excess dough.  Still, they came off the pan fine, and not one of them broke.  She then repeated this process with another pan-full, so we ended up with a dozen cookie bowls.  

She pressed out the rest of the dough, and cut out some smaller circles, so we could have a small chocolate cookie for our afternoon snack.  Needless to say, the rest of the afternoon proved a torture, as we waited to fill them with ice cream that evening.  Tomorrow, I’ll tell you how they turned out, and give you the recipe.  (Yes, I really am that cruel).

Dragon Dave

Why God Didn't Give Us Children

If you believe in a Divine Entity, then you believe that He or She holds supernatural power over us mere mortals.  Holy books such as The Bible, as well as myths, fables, and legends, constantly depict omnipotent beings influencing the lives of their creations.  Whether they step in to prevent a war, to endow a person with superhuman strength, or to make a virgin pregnant, the Divine guide our lives, and influence the rise and fall of nations.  While one may take steps to frustrate God's plans, one cannot escape destiny.

My wife and I might have taken certain precautions, at various points in our marriage, to prevent having children.  But if God could open Hannah's barren womb, surely He could have given my wife an appreciation for pickles.  As that glorious event never occurred, I can only assume God didn’t trust us with children.  While we both have our theories, I have to wonder if the chief reason He never blessed us in that way was because He simply didn’t approve of the names we might have given them.

Let’s face it: names have significance.  When Jacob goes twelve rounds with God one night, pummeling the Omnipotent One with the patriarchal equivalent of Body Presses, Bronco Busters, and Clotheslines, he does so because he’s tired of being known as Jacob, the deceiver.  So God relents and gives him a new name, Israel, meaning “one who wrestles with God.”  (He also gives Jacob a limp to remember Him by).  History and myths have given us unforgettable names like Hercules, Jupiter, Caesar, and Lancelot that still resonate with us.  And then there are great names from Fiction that tell us something about a given character.  Consider Simon Templar as The Saint.  Darth Sidious.  Doctor Who.  Rumpole of the Bailey.  Bilbo Baggins.  Sherlock Holmes.  Vlad Taltos.  Stephen King.  Okay, maybe the last one’s real, but they’re all evocative. 

So what’s my point?  Why do I think God disapproved of the names that my wife and I might have chosen for our children?  Well, my wife and I still think that Chocolate would have been a terrific name for our first child.  After all, it’s my wife’s favorite food, and my second-favorite.  Nor are we alone in our feelings, as most everyone likes chocolate.  So not only would we have ample reason to love our child, but the rest of the world would as well.  Strangely, Chocolate remains a rare first name, at least in the United States.  Since most people’s eyes light up when they hear the word, I can only assume its lack of popularity originates with the Divine.  After all, naming a child is just the first step in a never-ending list of parental responsibilities.  So we're left to wonder.  Did we fail before we could begin?  Had we intended on giving our child a more conventional name, such as Ricky or Lucy or Fred or Ethel, might God have then entrusted us with a child? 

We may never learn the answers to such questions, at least as long as we exist in this mortal realm, but somehow, it just doesn’t seem fair.  After all, it’s not like our child couldn’t have gone by a middle name when he or she got older.  In fact, that seems a fairly common practice for people not enamored with their first names.  We even had a few awesome middle names picked out.  Did you realize that over eleven thousand women in the United States are named Cherry?  And what about Chip?  Wouldn't Chip be a great middle name for a guy?

Hey, it’s not like we were going to name our first child Ice Cream.  Now that'd just be silly.

Dragon Dave

Related Internet Links

Learn how rare your name is at www.namestatistics.com