Charlotte Bronte & Gardening

The garden of the Bronte Museum
Haworth, England

In Charlotte Bronte's novel Shirley, the modernization of Robert Moore's textile mill puts many men out of work. One worker, who has a large family to support, eventually turns to gardening. One of the places he works is at the vicarage. There, in Caroline Helstone, he finds someone who guides him into his new trade. Together, the two discuss what types of plants should be planted where and when to create a beautiful garden.

My wife enjoys gardening. So over the years, we've created lots of flower beds. In fact, given California's frequent water shortages, we've given up altogether on having a lawn. While I've helped in the planning and creation of those beds, I've usually left the selection, planting, and maintenance of those beds to her. In the last few years, the demands of work, a succession of neighbors who let their children yell, scream, shriek, and shout when they play, and numerous competing interests, have detracted from my wife's love of gardening. So this year, I've decided to help out a little, a few hours each week, when I can.

I don't enjoy spending hours on my knees or butt. Still, weeding provides a certain amount of satisfaction. When I clear a bed of unwanted plants, I can better appreciate the plants we actually want in the beds. I've also been able to take my animal aggressions on truly tenacious (Or dare I say obnoxious) plants. One of the latter was an asparagus fern. In dealing with the latter, I emulated Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, by using an axe to dig out a shrub-worthy root system. 

Interesting that I would invoke a novel by Seth Grahame-Smith, whom I've never read. But then, he's another author who likes the classics. His most popular creation was Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I wonder if he'll ever get around to mashing-up a novel by the Bronte sisters?

Then again, perhaps I shouldn't give him any ideas...

A beautiful flower from the Bronte Museum garden.
(Sorry, I don't know the name of this one).

One day, while cutting all the dead fronds from a Watsonia, I pulled a little too hard, and the bulbs came up in my hand. Thankfully, my wife inspected them that night, and told me that the bulbs naturally die after awhile, and these particular ones had reached their expiration date.

Watsonia? Could that be a sign of my wife's love for Sherlock Holmes stories? I'll have to ask her about that.

Many English people take great pride in their gardens. Then again, so do many Americans. Our gardens may never resemble those in England, as we don't receive similar amounts of rain. Nor do we experience the same temperature range. Still, it'd be nice to create a garden as beautiful as that in the Bronte Museum in Haworth. After all, part of my love of England stems from the island's natural beauty. 

At least it's a challenge, and a way for me to grow.

Dragon Dave

Rock-a-Bye Birdie

An update on the Backyard House Hunters by Dragon Dave’s wife.

The house hunters settled into their new home.  Mrs. Oriole was patient with me as I watered the plants around the new home.  I wanted to make sure the banana plant stayed strong to support her.

The days have quickly passed and as is common in our location the breeze picks up in the afternoon.  The banana leaves swaying reminded me of the old lullaby "Rock-a-Bye Baby."  Then last week, the breeze turned into a wind that whipped and tore at the banana leaves, causing the leaves to start splitting. 

Worried about the nest, I went to check.  Though the leaves were splitting from the ravages of the wind, the nest was well built and Mrs. Oriole stayed at her post.

A New Window on the World

Mr. Oriole, who had been absent, recently returned to check on the house.

"I'm back!  How's everything going?"

Now Mr. & Mrs. Oriole are busy coming and going to the nest, so there must be new mouths to feed.

More reports later.

Dragon Dave's Wife

Related Dragon Cache entries

House Hunters: Backyard Edition

House Hunters: Backyard Edition

A Guest Blog by Dragon Dave's Wife

The other day I noticed some visitors I had not seen since last spring.  They seemed to be checking out the banana plants in our back yard.  

"What do you think of the location?"

"There's definitely some nice shade here.
We should inspect the foundation, though."

I didn't notice the couple again before we went on vacation, and so, for the most part, I forgot about them, thinking that they had merely passed through our neighborhood as in previous years.

Upon returning from Texas I noticed that the bananas were getting a little ragged.  When I considered pruning the yellowing and broken leaves, I noticed a piece of dried grass hanging from a leaf.  After a closer look, I realized that our visitors had decided to stay and enjoy our yard.  

Needless to say, pruning the bananas has been put on hold.

With the location decided,
construction is underway.

Two days later: the nest is complete.
(Furnishings included)
 

Now we must wait and see if the happy couple's new house will be big enough for their growing family.

Or will the neighbors drive them away?

Dragon Dave's Wife

Related Internet Links 

Information on Hooded Orioles

The real House Hunters 

Daleks Grow Radishes

Denim: Ooh, the intense sunlight is overloading my visual sensors.
Pocket: When we complete Mistress' assignment, we can return to the house.

Denim: We've loosened the ground.  The radishes should be able to grow.
Pocket: Space the seeds farther apart, then we'll see how my new gun works.

Denim: The growth ray appears to work.
Pocket: You think the radishes are large enough.
Denim: My sensors can't penetrate the soil.  Give the plants another blast.

Denim: Freeing this radish from the soil has drained my energy reserves.
Pocket: Hey, it's not my fault the trigger got stuck.  

Pocket: You it's too big?
Denim: The Humans have a saying: "Bigger is always better."

Pocket: I hope Master enjoys his lunch.
Denim: You should try that new growth ray on his dessert.
Pocket: I wonder how it would work on ice cream.
Denim: Just make sure you use a big enough bowl.

Pocket & Denim Dalek

Twelve Reasons Why I Can’t Go Out With You

This weekend, my wife brought in a beet from our garden.  Or should I say, she overwhelmed me with a beet from our garden?  The entire thing weighed in at over three pounds!  I wondered if the beet would be any good, as we’ve grown vegetables that large before, and sometimes they end up tasting woody.  I suspect she wondered too. 

For lunch, she steamed up all the greens, which tasted like Swiss Chard before she cooked them.  This took awhile, as only about half of the greens would fit in the steamer.  She added these to our Mexican leftovers, and we found them rather tasty.  While we ate, she cooked up the beet itself.  To my surprise, it was sweet and juicy, and we enjoyed some of it for dinner.  We don’t always pay all that much attention to our garden during the winter and spring.  Perhaps that was a good thing, as in this case, it provided us with a pleasant surprise.

That evening, my wife was going through some old papers, and she found some printouts of various quotes that had gotten passed around the Internet several years ago.  Included was a list I thought I would share with you.  Do you find yourself pestered by well-meaning admirers?  Are others trying to drag you into unwanted social obligations?  If you find yourself tongue-tied on such occasions, here are some possible responses.

Twelve Reasons Why I Can’t Go Out With You

I’d love to, but…

1)   I have to floss my cat.

2)   I’ve dedicated my life to linguini.

3)   I need to spend more time with my blender.

4)   It wouldn’t be fair to the other Beautiful People.

5)   It’s my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish.

6)   I’m going downtown to try on some gloves.

7)   I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.

8)   I’m going to the bakery to watch the buns rise.

9)   I have an appointment with a cuticle specialist.

10)  I have some really hard words to look up.

11)  I’ve got a “Friends of the Lowly Rutabaga” meeting.

12)  I promised to help a friend fold road maps.

Excuse me?  What’s that, Pocket?

Pocket: "I'm starting a "Daleks Dedicated To Delectable Beets" group.

Well, there you go.  Whether you’re a human, a Dalek, or some other kind of intelligent life form, it always pays to be adaptable, and be ready with a snappy comeback.

Dragon Dave

Our Burgeoning Banana Plant

Ten years ago, we bought a banana tree from a nursery, planted it in our back yard, and watched it…do nothing for a couple years, until it died.  About 5-7 years ago, a friend was rearranging her back yard, and she invited us to dig up any banana pups we desired.  We left these in black plastic pots until a few years ago, when we moved them in a planting bed.

A few weeks ago, one of the plants finally bloomed.  We’re so delighted that we’ve been photographing it as it develops.  My wife tells me that if it does fruit, it could take nine months before we get our first banana.  How that would work, with nine months from now being December, I don’t know.  It’d be nice to get a fruit from it, but at the very least, it’s interesting to see the process of birth (hopefully) taking place.

Apparently, we're not the only ones interested in our banana plant.

Sadly, while this plant is blooming, the woman who gave it to us is ailing.  Think of her as Gayle.  Some abdominal pains went undiagnosed, and Gayle's appendix burst before it could be removed.  After spending a few days at home, she had to return to the hospital for additional surgery, to address subsequent complications.  I'm sure that Gayle, and her family, would appreciate your thoughts and prayers during this time.

Dragon Dave 

Please Don’t Molest The Alligators

While touring the Florida Botanical Gardens, we remembered seeing alligators on our previous visit.  Finally we found one, lounging in the weeds beside the water.  We leaned on the railing of the observation deck, but it was just laying there, so we took a few photographs and continued on our way.  Later, we saw this sign.

My first thought was “Why would anyone molest an alligator?”  My second thought was “How can you molest an alligator?”  With their long teeth and snap-tight jaws, alligators can take care of themselves.  But then I remembered an attack at a zoo a few years back, and the allegations that the humans had provoked the animal, leading it to perform some extraordinary feats to escape its enclosure and seek revenge upon its tormentors.  

After I watched “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor,” I looked up Jon Spaihts on Wikipedia.  Yes, I had remembered correctly.  After his work on “Prometheus,” he had joined Universal to write the reboot of The Mummy movie franchise.  While I was happy they were making a fourth movie, I was surprised at the notion of a reboot.  I had enjoyed all three movies, and would have liked following Rick and Evelyn off to Peru, in search of Evelyn's brother Jonathan and South American mummies, as “Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” promised.  The movie made a lot of money, everyone interviewed seemed to enjoy making it, and the director, Rob Cohen, praised the cast and said he’d love to do a sequel.

Intrigued, I searched online for anything I could find about Mummy 4.  One site suggested that everyone involved hated “Tomb,” including martial arts star Jet Li.  Another slammed star Brendan Fraser.  It was also said Universal didn’t want Rob Cohen to direct the fourth one.  When I looked on one forum, it seemed as though the fans were criticizing virtually every aspect of the movie.  

This reminded me of something writer Kevin J. Anderson said at a Science Fiction convention.  Several young writers had made scathing criticisms of some of his stories.  Yet when they heard he was editing an anthology, they submitted their stories to him for inclusion.  Now, I’m not suggesting that he took their previous criticisms to heart, but editors always receive more stories of sufficient quality than they can possibly publish.   His warning: If you wish to become a published writer, be careful what you say about others.

None of us are capable of being truly objective.  So many factors influence our judgment.  Just because you didn't like a particular aspect of a story doesn't mean that it didn't resonate with others.  After three successful movies, I'm guessing that Universal executives probably calculated that a reboot version, with a new story and actors, can attract more viewers than a fourth movie dependent upon the history and family dynamics of the previous cast.  So, sadly, I may never learn of Jonathan's adventures in Peru.

I’m not suggesting that posting criticisms online is comparable to molesting an alligator.  The chances are slim that anything you say about the Mummy movies could reanimate a mummy who will go to extraordinary lengths to hurt you.  But why take the risk?  Isn’t it safer to be respectful and complimentary to everyone who contributed to the Mummy movies?  After all, everyone who works to craft compelling Fiction, in any form, is attempting to create something out of nothing. And they're doing it with the sole intent of entertaining you.

Better yet, why not be respectful and complimentary about others' efforts because you want to see the best in them, not because you fear some kind of reprisal.

Dragon Dave