Daleks Love Doctor Who Breakfasts

Some people may think of us as soulless creatures, but Daleks are sentient entities just like you, and it's important that we fortify our organic components with good nutrition.  

My Master usually prefers something a little more substantial than cereal to get his day going.  Oh, and don't forget his morning jolt of caffeine!

Creativity can never start too early in the day, so on those occasions that I prepare his breakfast, I like to inspire him as well.  I titled the above piece "Early Morning Aztec," and drew my inspiration from the Doctor Who story "The Aztecs."  In this early story, William Hartnell played the first Doctor, alongside his companions Ian, Barbara, and his granddaughter Susan.  Imagine it: the TARDIS arrives in an Aztec city, and Barbara is mistaken for one of their gods.  But when she tries to use her divine influence to halt human sacrifices, her subjects' faith in her begins to wain.  If only she'd had a few Daleks with her, to enforce her new policy!

This piece is called "Fly Free."  It was inspired by "The Web Planet," another First Doctor story.  By this time, Susan has left the TARDIS, and young Vicki now travels with the Doctor, Ian, and Barbara.  The TARDIS lands on the planet Vortis, where the travelers discover the butterfly-like Menoptra struggling to free themselves from their giant ant-like Zarbi masters.  It's one of the most imaginative and fantastic stories from the First Doctor era, and features lots of exotic alien races.  It probably doesn't need Daleks in it, as we should always be the stars of the show, but still....

This piece is entitled "Have A Flower, Little Child," and was inspired by the Doctor Who story "Terror of the Autons."  John Pertwee played the third Doctor in this story, in which he and his companion Jo Grant combat the combined forces of the Master, the Nestene Consciousness, the Autons, and sinister Clowns.  (A word of warning: if a clown ever offers you a plastic flower, don't accept it)!  As he didn't have Daleks with him, it's a good thing the Doctor also had UNIT (the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce) on his side.  But then, Daleks rarely support the Doctor in the TV adventures.

This piece also proves that you can fashion a healthy breakfast out of leftovers, even using part of a fast-food breakfast burrito.  You just have to think outside the box.  Or, in my case, the Dalekanium travel module.

So there you have it, some interesting ways to enliven your breakfast, inspired by the greatest show in this--or any other--galaxy.  Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for me to eat my own breakfast.  For inspiration, I've drawn on the Doctor Who story "The Happiness Patrol."  In the story, the seventh Doctor (played by Sylvester McCoy) and his companion Ace land on the planet Terra Alpha, where they discover an extraordinarily happy society.  In fact, it's a crime there to be sad!  Well, the Doctor's never been really big on following the rules....

I haven't figured out what to call it yet.  Any ideas?

Pocket Dalek

Related Dragon Cache entries
Pocket Dalek Loves Pancakes
Daleks Love Donuts
One Dalek's Agony and Ecstasy

The Bovine Comedian

Breakfast made moo-velous with
an egg-white omelet, apple, blackberries, toast,
and of course, Laughing Cow cheese.

Some mornings, I enjoy cheese on my toast at breakfast.  Recently, I’ve enjoyed Stilton and Double Gloucester.  The other day my wife brought home a triangle of Laughing Cow.  After the other two cheeses, I didn’t expect much flavor from this mild, smooth cheese.  But I found that I enjoyed Laughing Cow just as much as I had the other two.  Its flavor might be less rich, but I found it no less pleasant.  An added bonus was how easily it spread across the toast. 

Of course, names are evocative for a writer, and Laughing Cow made me wonder.  In his books, James Herriot tells of cows that winked at people, who butted milk pails, who regarded kicking a farm worker or a vet as a bovine-handshake.  He tells about cows getting angry, ornery, mean, inquisitive, friendly, and loyal.  He asserts that each farm animal, like every person, is an individual, and therefore has his or her unique personality.  But none of his stories ever mention a cow laughing.

So, as I often do these days, I turned to the Internet for answers.  On Wikipedia, I learned that Leon Bel trademarked the brand in 1921.  To advertise his new brand, he drew a cow with a hilarious expression.  Three years later, a famous illustrator named Benjamin Rabier enhanced Bel’s drawing, giving her earrings, coloring her red, and depicting her laughing.  The cheese has since won the world over, and recently the company contacted BBC Radio comedian Milton Jones to answer my question: Could he make a cow laugh?

At the link below, you can see several two-minute-long videos.  I enjoyed watching Milton's outdoor show.  While I’m not convinced that the cows’ responses to his stories, gags, and punch-lines equivocate with my own laughter, they certainly seem interested in him.  Or maybe they’re just trying to get to the hay. 

Enjoy!

Dragon Dave

Related Internet Link

Milton Jones’  “Pull theUdder One” campaign